Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Poetry Commentary - First Draft

Please write the first draft of a commentary about your poem and submit it as a comment to this entry by the end of class next Monday, October 5. Do not be worried if you find this task challenging. It is meant to be a challenge. During class today, Tuesday, September 29, you should be sure to transcribe the text of your poem in a form you will be able to access outside of class (as an e-mail, as a saved document, in your notebook) and to begin writing. Between now and class on October 5, continue reading and thinking about your poem, perhaps research it a bit on the internet, and make notes about your ideas. In our class on October 5, you will need to complete this commentary.

Your commentary should take the following form.

Paragraph 1 - Introduction – Include the title and author, a general explanation of the subject matter, a summary of what the poem is about, and what the key themes of the poem are (if there are any).

Paragraph 2 - Include detailed, stanza-by-stanza (or section-by-section, with line references) analysis of what is actually happening in the poem (without the greater depth of analysis coming later).

Paragraph 3 - Discuss the subtext and the implied. Look at the way that the poet hints at wider meaning, how a greater range of interpretation can be applied. This paragraph should lead in to the analysis of style in Paragraph 4.

Paragraph 4 - This paragraph should be a focused discussion of the way the poem is written and structured with regard to style – analysis of diction, rhythm and rhyme, figurative imagery, mood and tone, alliteration and assonance, the way that pace is controlled and atmosphere created – with detailed reference to the text in the form of quotation and line references.

Paragraph 5 - Link this poem with any other literature (especially poetry) you have read or studied. What are some common themes – possibly how different poets address similar issues, such as the topic of childhood?

Paragraph 6 - Conclusion – Discuss your overall feeling about the poem, its abiding images, and whether it is successful or not in what it sets out to do.

193 comments:

  1. This is my poem and my first draft. I hope it is good!

    So We'll Go No More a-Roving

    So we'll go no more a-roving
    So late into the night,
    Though the heart be still as loving,
    And the moon be still as bright.

    For the sword outwears its sheath,
    And the soul outwears the breast,
    And the heart must pause to breathe,
    And love itself have rest.

    Though the night was made for loving,
    And the day returns too soon,
    Yet we'll go no more a-roving
    By the light of the moon.

    -- George Gordon, Lord Byron


    So We’ll Go No More a-Roving

    George Gordon, Lord Byron

    So we’ll go no more a-roving by George Gordon, Lord Byron starts off about loved ones who walk about at night and when day comes they must split and go home to rest. It is showing that people who love each other very much still need to rest. As they grow older they still love each other but they don’t need to the things they did when they were younger.

    Stanza one is saying that although they still love each other as much as they did they cannot go a-roving anymore but their love is still there and strong. Stanza two speaks about how the love is stronger than its holder and that the sword is stronger than its case. It also shows that even though they are not going a-roving their love is stronger than them. The last stanza, stanza three is about how they will not go a-roving anymore by the moonlight, and it is saying that the love needs to rest and so do they.

    The author is saying that as time passes and we grow older love grows and changes with us. He is also showing that you don’t have to go out and hold hands to love someone, you can just love them. He also points out that when you grow older you cannot party, because you are old but you can do other things to show your love.

    This poem is rhythmic. This poem has a beat to it because it has a rhyming words at the end of the line. The poem has the second and fourth line that rhyme and also the first and third. For example roving and loving/ night and bright/ soon and moon/ breast and rest/ sheath and breathe. Also the poem has figurative imagery. When Lord Byron says that “The moon will be still as bright”, he means that it will be a beautiful night and also when he says that that “the sword outwears the sheath” and that “the heart outwears the breast” he means that love is stronger than its case, it is stronger than what is holding it.

    Isn’t it amazing? is a poem about insects and transformation over time. The poem talks about how amazing it is that many things can transform over time. It talks about the caterpillars that transform into butterflies and the seeds grow into flowers. This poem doesn’t talk about love but it does talk about things changing as time passes.

    Isn’t it Amazing? by Max Fatchen

    Now isn’t it amazing
    That seeds grow into flowers,
    That grubs become bright butterflies
    And rainbows come from showers,
    That busy bees make honey gold
    And never spend time lazing,
    That eggs turn into singing birds,
    Now isn’t that amazing?

    The poem So we’ll go no more a roving is a very famous poem. When I hear this poem I think about older loved ones and their lives and also how they spend their time together. It also makes me think of younger lovers and how they spend their time together. This then makes me compare the differences and I always come up with the same conclusion, both young and old love their lovers equally. So its not if you spend time together, its if you really love your loved one.

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  2. Poetry commentary- first draft
    So, my poem is called “Report to Wordsworth”, by Boey Kim Cheng. This poem is about the environment we live in today. It is a sad poem that makes you really think, and it is a recent poem because the author was born in 1965, and Wordsworth is writer who lived a long time ago, and he wrote about nature.

    In the first line, the author is telling Wordsworth that Nature needs him, then he speaks about nature, that it has been suffering. Then he builds up this sad feeling by explaining more about the nature dying, and then he says that it is helpless.

    I think that the poem is very sad, and it is quite hard to understand, meaning that the writer uses the names which are not really famous. It is about nature in general, and about the way it is dying which is even sadder.

    The poem rhymes, but I wouldn’t say that it has rhythm, because it doesn’t has an equal amount of syllables in each line. Also the poem has no stanzas, and ends a sentence in the middle of the line, which makes it hard to read. No alliteration is used, and the mood is no a happy one. I think that when you read it you should make a pause every time the line interrupts, in order to think about the line a little bit more because it is such a strong poem so it can not be read quickly.

    The other poem which has the same idea is “Lament” by Gillian Clarke:
    For the green turtle with her pulsing burden,
    in search of the breeding-ground.
    For her eggs laid in their nest of sickness.

    For the cormorant in his funeral silk,
    the veil of iridescence on the sand,
    the shadow on the sea.

    For the ocean's lap with its mortal stain.
    For Ahmed at the closed border.
    For the soldier in his uniform of fire.

    For the gunsmith and the armourer,
    the boy fusilier who joined for the company,
    the farmer's sons, in it for the music.

    For the hook-beaked turtles,
    the dugong and the dolphin,
    the whale struck dumb by the missile's thunder.

    For the tern, the gull and the restless wader,
    the long migrations and the slow dying,
    the veiled sun and the stink of anger.

    For the burnt earth and the sun put out,
    the scalded ocean and the blazing well.
    For vengeance, and the ashes of language.
    The poem is similar because it is also about nature dying.

    I really enjoyed this poem, it made me think about things I used to close my eyes on. It brought up the idea of nature dying in a very strong way-poetry, I didn’t expect people to write about nature dying in poetry. It is a very smart poem, and I don’t understand some parts of it, but I understood the real meaning of it which is the most important. Even though I prefer poems which rhyme, I actually liked that this one does not rhyme, because it is not supposed to rhyme. The poem is very good.

    The poem:
    You should be here, Nature has need of you.
    She has been laid waste. Smothered by smog,
    the flowers are mute, and the birds are few
    in a sky slowing like a dying clock.
    All hopes of Proteus rising from the sea
    have sunk; he is entombed in the waste
    we dump. Triton’s notes struggle to be free,
    his famous horns are choked, his eyes are dazed,
    and Neptune lies helpless as a beached whale,
    while insatiate man moves in for the kill.
    Poetry and piety have begun to fail,
    as Nature’s mighty heart is lying still.
    O see the wound widening in the sky,
    God is labouring to utter his last cry

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  4. The Poem Commentary
    ‘Amends’ by Adrienne Rich

    Nights like this: on the cold apple-bough
    a white star, then another
    exploding out of the bark:
    on the ground, moonlight picking at small stones

    as it picks at greater stones as it rises with the surf
    laying its cheeks for moments on the sand
    as it licks the broken ledge, as it flows up the cliffs,
    as it flicks across the tracks

    as it unavailing pours into gash
    of the sand-and-gravel quarry
    as it leans across the hungered fuselage
    of the crop dusting plane

    as it soaks through cracks into trailers
    tremulous wit sleep
    as it dwells upon the eyelids of sleepers
    as if to make amends.



    The poem Amends, is written by Adrienne Rich who is an American poet and is 80 years old already. This poem is basically about the relationship between the moonlight and the humans. The moonlight wishes to make amends, because it sympathizes with the lives of the sleepers. As night heals up, and also helps the sleepers to get away with bad memories.



    The first stanza is about how at night in the dark it is very cold with stars showing up, lighting up every single piece of stone that is on the ground. The second stanza is telling us about how the stars light up the greater stones it starts showing more, and then rests on the sand, as it reaches the broken ledge, it lights up the high cliff. The third stanza is about how it continues lighting up the rest of the land. And at last, the fourth stanza is about how the star light gets through the cracks of windows and how it gets on the eyelids of sleepers as if it wants amends.



    In general it is telling us how better the night – star light is better from the day light. How the star light lights up every piece of ground at night and how it moves slowly lighting up as much as it can.



    The poem has no rhythm or rhyme. The mood of the poem is not neutral; it is normal and very imaginary! There is a lot of alliteration and the tone of this poem is quite sad to be honest, how the poet wrote it makes it sounds as if the poem is not suppose to be explaining beautiful how the star light is nice at night.



    The topic of childhood is addressed much more with simple language and makes it easy to read, and not more scientific words and much more difficult explanation.



    I could explain my feelings to this poem if only I understood some explanations in this poem, because like this I only got some of it. However it sounded quite nice and interesting. I also think is it a successful poem and that a lot of readers would enjoy reading this poem and have their own opinions on this poem and make their own movie in their heads when reading it.

    By Christina Lomakina

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  5. The Voice
    Thomas Hardy

    Woman much missed, how you call to me, call to me,
    Saying that now you are not as you were
    When you had changed from the one who was all to me,
    But as at first, when our day was fair.

    Can it be you that I hear? Let me view you, then,
    Standing as when I drew near to the town
    Where you would wait for me: yes, as I knew you then,
    Even to the original air-blue gown!

    Or is it only the breeze in its listlessness
    Travelling across the wet mead to me here,
    You being ever dissolved to wan wistlessness,
    Heard no more again far or near?

    Thus I; faltering forward,
    Leaves around me falling,
    Wind oozing thin through the thorn from norward,
    And the woman calling.


    The Voice
    Thomas Hardy






    this is my voice commentary:

    Voice commentary
    The poem is called ‘the Voice’ by author Thomas Hardy,
    The poem is about a woman who is ‘dead’ and someone who is thinking
    That he hears her, and he talks about how he misses her and what a nice time
    They had.

    In the first stanza of the poem he is talking how much he misses her and
    That she is gone, and that he is going to realize that she was all to him.
    In the second stanza he thinks he hears her, and he wants that she has to
    Show her to him, and that she has to wait for him and he asks her: ‘can it be you that I hear’? .
    In the third stanza he thinks that it is not her but only the breeze in its listlessness
    And if he hears her is it than far or near him?
    In the fourth and last stanza he falls forward and the leaves are
    Falling around him and the wind is oozing.
    And the woman is calling.

    He misses the woman and he was looking back at the time they had together
    The woman was al to him, and he thinks that she is calling him and he wants to see her
    And every time when he hears things she is calling it is the breeze or leaves falling.
    He wants to hear her but it is the wind etc.

    In each stanza the poem rimes a view times it varies each stanza,
    Sometimes he rimes two times each stanza and sometimes four
    times. So he has not an exactly rhythm. He has also not an exactly rhythm
    for the syllabus per sentences, it varies. He is a little frustrated that the woman is gone he wants that she call to him and in the second stanza he is talking to her he is saying that she has to show herself and that she has to wait for him. It is also on the third stanza about that he thinks he hears her but then he thinks no it is the breeze or it is the leaves, but he wants that she call him. The fourth stanza he is faltering forward, and he hears the leaves falling around him, and the wind oozing and he thinks that the woman is calling.
    I didn’t study a lot of poems so I can’t remember if any of them are the same or has similar issues.
    My conclusion is: When you study the poem you are beginning to understand the poem
    For the first time when you look at it you think what is it all about you don’t know it really but when you discuss it and thinks how the ‘men’ is feeling when he made the poem you are going to understand the poem so you know that it is about a woman who the men is thinking that she is calling him…

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  6. Marry Song
    Ryan Dunn


    He never learned her, quite. Year after year
    That territory, without seasons, shifted
    under his eye. An hour he could be lost
    in the walled anger of her quarried hurt
    on turning, see cool water laughing where
    the day before there were stones in her voice.
    He charted. She made wilderness again.
    Roads disappeared. The map was never true.
    Wind brough him rain sometimes, tasting of sea -
    and suddenly she would change the shape of shores
    faultlessly calm. All, all was each day new:
    the shadows of her love shortened or grew
    like trees seen from an unexpected hill,
    new country at each jaunty helpless journey.
    So he accepted that geography, constantly strange.
    Wondered. Stayed home increasingly to find
    his way among the landscapes of her mind.




    My poem “The Marry song” was about a sailor who went back and forth from a coast every year and sailed around it to examine its coast line but after changing it completely so when he comes back he is lost and confused. But as the poem describes, he always get stuck in a storm that is life threatening but always start off as calm (the calm before the storm).
    The Dennis Scotts aim was to describe the ocean and its pleasing yet destructive nature. He also tells about the landscape of a women’s mind. In the paragraph “An hour he could be lost in the walled anger of her quarried hurt on turning, see cool water laughing where the day before there were stones in her voice” tells about the destruction of the ocean. The other view is of his wife changing her mind and getting angry and over consecrated in him.
    The state of events that came to play in the story was a form of his life. One of the comments from an online poem site was “I think it maps the female mind quite pleasingly” (http://lavished.wordpress.com/2007/10/01/851/) this is ,I think the writer was trying to portrait. As you read further into the poem you’ll later see that he eventually get used to his marriage life.

    Later the writer begins to deepen his writing and make the sea sound more vicious and destructive. This is most likely because this is when his marriage began to fail. But later the poem became more cheery and the passage “Stayed home increasingly to find his way among the landscapes of her mind” described that he began to make the marriage work.



    The theme was based on life and marriage, how it can be going for the better or worst. The poem is built on mainly how Dennis Scotts life and his marriage. He writes the poem more as a story than a poem. Though being short the poems rhyming words where very little and was most likely be formed that way. Sometimes in the poem he would resort to the sea as “she”. When he does this he is referring to his wife.
    Most likely the poem was intended to maybe help people understand that not all marriages are happy but some can be quite depressing. In one of the stanzas he concentrates on the ocean and its depressing look during the night. Some bits of the poem did relate to the actual sea itself and it constantly changing ways. In the other parts when he relates the ocean to his wife he would sometime use the continuing words to describe it.

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  8. The Poem:
    So, we'll go no more a-roving
    So late into the night,
    Though the heart be still as loving,
    And the moon be still as bright.

    For the sword outwears its sheath,
    And the soul wears out the breast,
    And the heart must pause to breathe,
    And love itself have rest.

    Though the night was made for loving,
    And the day returns too soon,
    Yet we'll go no more a-roving
    By the light of the moon.

    So We’ll Go No More A-Roving
    First Draft Essay:
    The Title of this poem is So We’ll Go No More A-Roving, and the author is George Gordon Byron. The subject of my poem is that he thinks he is loving his wife for too long at night, and he would prefer to do it in the morning. The key theme of the poem is love.
    For the first stanza, he is telling his wife that he doesn’t want to love her so late into the night, even though he really loves her and it is not her fault basically. In the second stanza, he is saying even though he loves her a lot, he needs to take a break sometimes. In the third stanza, he is saying that again, even though he loves her a lot, he doesn’t want to love her for so long at night.
    The author is implying that he might be getting tired or just wants a break for a little bit, but he doesn’t want his lover to think that he doesn’t love her or want to be with her. He can allow the audience to interpret what he is trying to say more by actually writing it in his poem once, and then going on with the rhymes, so people at least get what the poem is about.
    The rhythm of the poem is not really hard, and it is quite obvious to understand, so you can read it with the rhythm without having to practice it at all. The rhyming is ABAB, CDCD, EFEF, which really suits the type of poem and the length of the stanzas. There is not really any figurative imagery in this poem because it is not actually telling a story. This poem is just giving a message to the author’s wife or lover. The mood of the poem is happy. There is no text that implies sadness of any kind. The tone of the poem is probably very soft, because the author is not mad at the person he is sending a message to, he is just trying to explain to them his problem in a way that people can understand him. This poem does not contain any alliteration, or any assonance. Every paragraph is telling the same story, but they are all telling it in a completely different way compared to each other, which I think is really smart. The author creates the atmosphere by using words that imply a happy mood. For example, he says ‘So we’ll go no more a-roving, so late into the night’, instead of just saying ‘I get bored of loving you’, which really makes a change in the mood created in the reader, and this is helpful for the author.
    There are poems that have the same theme which is love, but no other poem I’ve ever read explains the same story that this poem does.
    I think this poem was quite good and I didn’t get bored reading it, and it sends a good message and it’s unique from any other poem I think. I do not have any problem with any part of it so I do not have any recommendations to make it better. I think this poem is successful how it is.

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  10. Part 1


    Boey Kim Cheng is the poet that wrote Report To Wordsworth, and, through this poem, he makes you think about the environmental problems happening today. Since the poet, Boey Kim Cheng, was born in Singapore in 1965, the poem is fairly recent. The poem directs your attention to all the pollution we are creating, and how we are destroying the environment. The poem is supposedly Boey Kim Cheng’s letter to Wordsworth, a poet who wrote about nature, who was from a while ago.



    In the first line of the poem, it seems as if the poet it saying that Wordsworth should be here, to see how everything has changed in nature. Since Wordsworth was a nature poet, he showed how beautiful the world was through his words. Now, he’s gone, and in the years that have passed since his death, the people of the world have cared less. In the fifth, sixth, and beginning of the seventh line, Cheng is talking about how we throw our trash into the ocean and trap and kill the creatures inside of it. Where it says ‘Poetry and piety have begun to fail,’ means that, although people have tried, people are ignoring the problem at hand and saying that what is happening isn’t that much of a big deal. ‘See the wound widening in the sky,’ could be about how we are creating a hole in our o-zone layer because of the pollution. And the last line, ‘God is laboring to utter his last cry’ could mean that all the damage we have done is too great to erase completely, and is too difficult to get rid of.



    Cheng is implying that nature is dying. ‘You should be here, Nature has need of you. She has been laid waste.’ Boey Kim Cheng probably believes that if Wordsworth were here, there would be more words uttered to help the earth. Cheng, in this poem, is trying to say that what we are doing to the earth is killing her, not saving her, and he wants more people to try and help revive her. ‘..the flowers are mute, and the birds are few in a sky slowing like a dying clock.’ It is written saying that there is less of everything in nature than there was before. The poem is relatively written with a sad voice and really reaches out to you to try and motivate you to take action.



    The poem is written in the style of a Shakespearean sonnet. It goes in the rhyming scheme of abacdcefefgg. It doesn’t have too much rhythm, as there isn’t the same amount of syllables in each line. There are many images that the poet draws into your mind, making you imagine all the words that he’s written. I would say that the tone and mood of the poem is particularly sad, and depressing, since he is talking about how nature is dying and being destroyed by our trash/waste, like in the first 6 lines. The sentences will sometimes end right in the middle of the next line in the poem, and there are no stanzas, which makes what the poem is saying jump out at you a little bit more. As you read the poem, at the end of every line, your brain just pauses, which wants to make you think more about what the poet is saying to you through this poem, and affects you a little bit more. ‘All hopes of Proteus rising from the sea have sunk; he is entombed in the waste we dump’ makes the poem seem like we are killing gods by polluting the sea. It also makes the poem seem a little darker.

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  11. Here is the Poem;

    The flower-fed buffaloes of the spring
    In the days of long ago,
    Ranged where the locomotives sing
    And the prairie flowers lie low;
    The tossing, blooming, perfumed grass
    Is swept away by wheat,
    Wheels and wheels and wheels spin by
    In the spring that still is sweet.
    But the flower-fed buffaloes of the spring
    Left us long ago.
    They gore no more, they bellow no more,
    They trundle around the hills no more:
    With the Blackfeet lying low,
    With the Pawnees lying low.
    Lying low.

    By Vachel Lindsay

    Flower-Fed Buffaloes
    Vachel Lindsay
    The poem is called ‘The Flower-Fed Buffaloes’ and it is written by Vachel Lindsay, the subject matter of this poem is focusing on Buffaloes and how they are disappearing from the lovely spring fields. The poem tells us that long ago there were buffaloes that used to roam the fields but as time went on the buffaloes moved from the fields probably because of the two tribes the poem mentions at the end, the Blackfeet and the Pawnees. There seems to be only one theme which is that it’s mainly focusing on spring time.

    In the beginning of the poem it mentions the Buffaloes ‘In the days of long ago’ as well as that it is in the spring time, moving to the third verse it seems to hint that it’s a peaceful time, ‘Ranged where the Locomotives sing’, ‘And the prairie flowers lie low:-‘ these two verses show this. ‘The tossing, blooming, perfumed grass’ this is giving us and idea of what it smelt like in the spring time, the next couple of verses tells us that there is some disturbance in the fields as ‘wheels and wheels and wheels spin by’ but it also says that the spring still smells sweet and peaceful. ‘But the Flower-Fed Buffaloes of the spring, Left us long ago’ this seems like the buffaloes are moving to another place due to either Migration or someone or thing has drove them away, in the end of the poem it mentions the two tribes ‘the Blackfeet lying low, and the Pawnees lying low’ it mentions ‘Lying low’ so this could mean that they might have used the Buffaloes for a source of food or clothing.

    In the poem there are some versus and words that imply certain things, ‘Prairie flowers lie low;-‘ this could imply that the flowers are indeed lying low, either they are small flowers or they could have been trodden on by either the buffaloes or the two tribes. ‘Swept away by the wheat’ could mean that the flowers and the grass has been removed and wheat has been grown instead, ‘They gore no more, they bellow no more, They trundle around the hills no more’ this hints that the Buffaloes don’t kill humans or animals anymore, they don’t growl or make noises, and it looks like they don’t go around the hills anymore and that hints that they have moved to another place. ‘Lying low’ could mean that the two tribes have staying out not moving because of the buffaloes moving away.

    The structure of the poem is a 15 verse poem, it does not have any stanzas, and the rhyming pattern is ABABCDCDEFGGHHH and it does not have a set number of syllables, the rhythm of the poem in my opinion is slow, and this works for the poem as if you said it fast the poem wouldn’t sound as good. The poem gives the reader a lot of images, such as ‘And the prairie flowers lie low, They gore no more, they bellow no more, They trundle around the hills no more’ There is no Assonance or Alliterations, the mood of the poem is happy and the atmosphere created makes you peaceful and gives you good images of Spring time.

    Unfinished, Ryan Stott

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  12. I think that this poem has an idea that is similar to this one’s.
    THE WORLD IS TOO MUCH WITH US
    by: William Wordsworth (1770-1850)

    HE world is too much with us: late and soon,
    Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
    Little we see in Nature that is ours;
    We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
    This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
    The winds that will be howling at all hours,
    And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
    For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
    It moves us not. -- Great God! I'd rather be
    A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
    So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
    Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
    Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
    Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.



    This poem talks about how people are taking the earth/nature for granted, and that we just allows it to ‘help’ us while we do nothing to help her in return. It also talks about how ‘Proteus rising from the sea’ while in Reports to Wordsworth says how Proteus can’t rise from the sea because of all the trash we’ve put in it. It’s the same thing with how Triton blowing his wreathed horn, in Report to Wordsworth ‘Triton’s notes struggle to be free’.


    I think that Report to Wordsworth was a very sad poem, but I enjoyed reading it because of the imagery that it sent into my mind. It felt like it had a very strong voice, and like it was urging me to help out. I liked how in some places it rhymed, while in others it didn’t, although that kind of annoyed me at first. I think that it is very successful in what it was set out to do, or what the poet wanted to say. It gives a very strong opinion on what is happening, so that makes the poem even better than one that would have a very soft voice. I also liked how the poet used metaphors.



    The poem, Report to Wordsworth:

    You should be here, Nature has need of you.
    She has been laid waste. Smothered by the smog,
    The flowers are mute, and the birds are few
    in a sky slowing like a dying clock.
    All hopes of Proteus rising from the sea have sunk; he is entombed in the waste
    we dump. Triton’s notes struggle to be free,
    and Neptune lies helpless as a beached whale,
    While insatiate man moves in for the kill.
    Poetry and piety have begun to fail,
    As nature’s mighty heart is lying still.
    O see the wound widening in the sky,
    God is laboring to utter his last cry.





    PS. I AM NOT ANGELIC_GIRL REX!! It just put it as my screen name for some reason O.O
    I'm Tatiana Torriani =D

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  13. First Draft: Fist Love

    I ne'er was struck before that hour
    With love so sudden and so sweet,
    Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower
    And stole my heart away complete.
    My face turned pale as deadly pale.
    My legs refused to walk away,
    And when she looked, what could I ail?
    My life and all seemed turned to clay.

    And then my blood rushed to my face
    And took my eyesight quite away,
    The trees and bushes round the place
    Seemed midnight at noonday.
    I could not see a single thing,
    Words from my eyes did start --
    They spoke as chords do from the string,
    And blood burnt round my heart.

    Are flowers the winter's choice?
    Is love's bed always snow?
    She seemed to hear my silent voice,
    Not love's appeals to know.
    I never saw so sweet a face
    As that I stood before.
    My heart has left its dwelling-place
    And can return no more
    First Love

    First Love was written by John Clare in the 19th Century. The poem is about the character falling in love for the first time. In the first stanza the character talks about the fact that he cannot take his eyes off this beautiful woman. The second verse conveys the character’s emotions and then describes his emotions from the break up with his lover. In the final stanza Clare talks about his experience and depression as the love is unreciprocated.
    The first stanza has a very romantic theme following the first encounter and the significance in the poem. This is explained in the first line, ‘I ne’er was struck before that hour’ where the character was almost shocked when he first saw this person. There is also a description of the girl’s appearance in line 3. Clare says that ‘her face bloomed like a sweet flower’, he also talks about the character being besotted by this woman. In the second stanza, the character realises that the lady doesn’t have the same feeling for him. We get the impression that the character becomes angry and is filled with rage. This is indicated in the first line ‘and blood rushed to my face’. We also learn that this man is powerless to the fact that this woman could break up with him and he would not be able to prevent this. In the final verse, the character is depressed due to the relationship ending as he cannot make this girl love him. The pace of this stanza is slower than the previous 2 and includes rhetorical questions such as ‘are flowers the winter’s choice?’ and ‘Is love's bed always snow?’
    I believe that Clare is implying that there is such a thing as love at first sight, however, this does not mean that the relationship will last as love is two-way thing. We get the impression that to truly love someone, you need to know them inside and out.
    The rhyming structure of AB AB CD CD. The first stanzas have 8 syllables per line whilst the other 2 follow the pattern of 8 syllables then 6 syllables and so on. The first stanza’s basic themes are romance, feelings and emotions. But in the second, the theme has changed as we see signs of anger due to the fact that this woman might not love him. This is portrayed in the first line of the second verse ‘and blood rushed to my face’. We read in the last line ‘and blood burnt round my heart’ that this person’s heart is broken. The third stanza however is different where the pace is slower due to the theme of depression. There are references of coldness and winter in the first few lines of this verse. The rhetorical questions in this stanza ‘Are flowers the winter’s choice? And ‘Is love's bed always snow?’ also give us the indication that this character is questioning himself about what he needed to do to save the relationship . Though, there is a clear reference to the fact that this character still has feelings for this woman. This is from the fifth line ‘I never saw so sweet a face . We get a clear indication that this person has only seen the girl from the outside because he never mentions her personality.

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  14. First Love is almost the complete opposite to Shakespeare’s Sonnet CXXX
    My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
    Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
    If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
    If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
    I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
    But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
    And in some perfumes is there more delight
    Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
    I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
    That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
    I grant I never saw a goddess go;
    My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
    And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
    As any she belied with false compare.

    In this poem, Shakespeare insults his mistress’s beauty. But he doesn’t care as he believes that his love for this woman is rare as he truly loves her on the inside. In First Love, Clare states that the character loves this woman but we only hear him talking about her beauty. Once he realises that this woman doesn’t love him, there are indications of anger, insecurity and depression. In the Sonnet, Shakespeare doesn’t show signs of anger and depression even though he insults his lover, but his ending shows that he loves her despite her looks. The poems also begin and end completely different. The Sonnet starts negatively with Shakespeare insulting his lover and in First Love it begins with the character’s positive love for this woman. The endings are the opposite as well. The Sonnet ends positively with Shakespeare saying that he loves her whilst Clare’s character is very depressed that the woman doesn’t love him in return.
    I believe that First Love is a very well written poem. It has real depth emotionally and readers can easily relate to the experience. I also believe that the poem is successful in what it sets out to do.

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  15. The Voice-Thomas Hardy
    The Voice, by Thomas Hardy, is a poem about a man who is mourning the death of his much loved wife, and he is explaining how he keeps on thinking he can hear her, and can’t stop remembering her. He keeps mistaking sounds of nature for his wife, such as the wind, which he believes is his wife calling out to him. He keeps his memoeries of her, such as her Blue gown.
    The first stanza is showing that his wife is still calling to him, even though she is dead, and also says that the narrator thinks she is different now, ‘not as she was’. The second stanza explains that the narrator thinks he can hear his beloved, and asks her to appear before him, and also tells us of some of his memories of her, standing outside the town, waiting for her, and remembering her sky-blue gown. The third stanza shows that he is mistaking everyday sounds and noises for his wife, and he is thinking if it is his wife, or just the wind ( ‘Or is it only the breeze in its listlessness...’). at the end of the stanza, he says how he believes she has been disolved away, and how he can hear no more. The final stanza shows him standing, leaves falling all around, faltering foward slowly, the wind ‘oozing’ slowly, and his wife calling sounds.
    The author is implying that even if we have lost someone precious to us, and we are alone, there still may be memories of them, and even the feeling of the person being with you. Even if you think you are alone, you may feel, and believe differently, sounds, sights and feelings of nature may bring them back to you. The author may also be implying that memories are a very important, and memories of someone else after they are gone are maybe essential.
    The poem is 4 stanzas, of 4 lines each, with the rhyme scheme ABAB, CDCD, EFEF, GHGH. The poem has a slight rhythm, having the same amount of sylabols for each corresponding rhyming lines. The author uses a lot of imagery, depicting the sounds, the scenery, his beloved, and her gown (Can it be you that I hear? Let me view you, then, standing as when i drew near to the town, where you would wait for me: yes, as i knew you then, even to the original air-blue gown!)
    Although the poem is about a man mourning his loved wife, the poem is not that sad, but is more about the man believing his wife is trying to contact him, and his memories. The atmosphere is going on mysterious, but not quite, as he is mistaking the sounds of nature for his wife. If it makes sense, the atmosphere would be lonelyness (Or is it only the breeze in its listlessness Travelling across the wet mead to me here...’).
    I have studied a lot of poetry before, and stories, but I cannot remember any that are similar to this poem. Although when my grandfather died, I felt that sometimes I could hear him (that’s the only thing I can slightly compare it to).
    The way I conclude this poem goes like this: I believe this poem is extremely effective at what it was written for, and provides extravagant imagery and effects, making the reader feel as if it was their own memory. The way the poem is written is slightly mysterious, and a great poem to study. It has an interesting plot, being about his lost wife, who he believes is trying to contact him, and when he thinks that his wife is not calling him, she ‘calls’ again. I like this poem greatly, and if I could rate it out of 10, I would give it an 8/10.

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  16. LAMENT

    For the green turtle with her pulsing burden,
    in search of the breeding-ground.
    For her eggs laid in their nest of sickness.

    For the cormorant in his funeral silk,
    the veil of iridescence on the sand,
    the shadow on the sea.

    For the ocean's lap with its mortal stain.
    For Ahmed at the closed border.
    For the soldier in his uniform of fire.

    For the gunsmith and the armourer,
    the boy fusilier who joined for the company,
    the farmer's sons, in it for the music.

    For the hook-beaked turtles,
    the dugong and the dolphin,
    the whale struck dumb by the missile's thunder.

    For the tern, the gull and the restless wader,
    the long migrations and the slow dying,
    the veiled sun and the stink of anger.

    For the burnt earth and the sun put out,
    the scalded ocean and the blazing well.
    For vengeance, and the ashes of language.

    By Gillian Clark

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  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. Full Moon and Little Frieda Commentary
    Paragraph One
    Full moon and little Frieda is a poem written by Ted Hughes. Full moon and little Frieda is about a little girls first word ‘Moon’. It starts of just like this; on a cool evening with dogs barking and buckets clanking with spider’s web with dew looking like a mirror. Cows are wandering in their lane. ‘A dark river of blood, many boulders,’ then little Frieda cries out Moon, Moon! Full moon and little Frieda is in fact about Ted Hughes daughter and the moon is him being amazed at her first word moon (he being the moon).

    Paragraph 2
    The first stanza is about a dog bark and a bucket clatter in a cool evening. He says ‘And you listening’ so he is trying to put you in the atmosphere or this barn. He then mentions a spider’s web with dew on it that is reflecting like a mirror scaring you at first. The second paragraph starts of with the cows roaming around their comfortable lane breathing warmly- suggesting that they are happy-. Then Ted Hughes uses a phrase a dark river of blood which could suggest that he wants the reader to think that wither the day has come to an end and that’s what’s left or he is trying to show that blood has been spilt so there is some sort of sadness with Ted or Frieda?. Though then little Frieda calls the Moon. The reaction of the moon is he is surprised and happy to hear his name being called.

    Paragraph 3
    I think Ted Hughes is trying to imply that his daughter Frieda who seems to be very important to him has said her first word and it his name. He is showing the reader that he is important to her as much as she is important to him. It is not a sad poem but some parts like ‘dark river of blood’ suggest that maybe Ted Hughes’ family is having trouble which could be due to the fact that his wife her mother committed suicide.

    Paragraph 4
    Full moon and little Frieda is written in a very simply English though the message behind it and the actual meaning of the poem is not obvious. At first it just seems its about a little girl on a farm calls for the moon but after a bit of research on Ted Hughes one realizes it more then just a girl calling the moon it is in fact about his daughter calling him. This is very important to him. It is written in 3 stanzas the first 2 both have 5 verses in each and the a final couplet at the end. There is a lot of imagery going on in the poem that really puts you in the feeling of a peaceful n with the animals minding there own business just doing there own thing and then the little Frieda and the Moon. There is no rhythm or rhyme in Full Moon and Little Frieda. The mood is very relaxed and chilled some points in the poem one feels a bit sad like when he uses ‘Dark River of blood’ but then the rest of the poem there is a happy mood.

    Paragraph 5
    Ted Hughes poem Full Moon and Little Frieda reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl poems as he loves to write about animals and as well put you in a happy mood. There both always have a message behind them and at first may seem very plain and simple but need a bit of word to understand. The only difference is that Roald Dahl writes more for children and they are more for entertainment then anything else where as Full Moon and Little Frieda has a meaning to Ted Hughes. Both writers I like though.

    Paragraph 6
    I like this poem Full Moon and Little Frieda it reminds me a lot of my little sister when she said her first word and it gives you that warm feeling of satisfaction I guess as it is a big step in a persons life for Frieda and Ted, it tells a dad or mother that their kid is growing up. Ted Hughes poem Full Moon and Little Frieda is a short poem which I love as I can’t stand long poems that literally need deciphering before one can understand them. It had no rhyming or rhythm so one was free to put your one style into it which makes it more fun. I liked the subject of the poem and it was to me a very meaningful and well written poem.

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  19. A cool small evening shrunk to a dog bark and the clnk of a bucket-
    And you listening.
    A spider’s web, tense for the dew’s touch.
    A pail lifted, still and brimming – mirror
    To tempt a first star to a tremor.

    Cows are going home in the lane there, looping the hedges with their warm
    Wreaths of breath-
    A dark river of blood, many boulders,
    Balancing unspilled milk.
    ‘Moon!’ you cry suddenly, ‘Moon! Moon!’

    The moon has stepped back like an artist fazing amazed at a work
    That points at him amazed.

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  20. Full Moon and Little Frieda

    This poem is called Full Moon and Little Frieda by Ted Hughes and is primarily about his daughter Frieda Hughes. He includes metaphors and subtext that refers to the trouble and hardship of his families’ past (notably Sylvia Plath’s Suicide), and his daughter’s beauty. It emphasizes a partnership with nature and the Full moon of the night.

    Stanza one, a short one line stanza, introduces the scene with a brief description “A cool small evening shrunk to a dog bark and the clank of a bucket”, it puts the reader into the setting and gives a sense of calm

    Stanza two instills anticipation and a ‘calm tension’, “A spider’s web, tense for the dew’s touch.” “To tempt a first star to a tremor” These lines show a sort of preparation, something that is part of a cycle is coming soon. Then “A pail lifted, still and brimming – mirror” portrays a calmness as whatever the pail contains is still and reflecting the moonlight.

    Stanza three starts to break the calmness, the tension is still present, but now that “Cows are going home in the lane there, looping the bushes with wreaths of warm breath--” Movement and life is described, and then “A dark river of blood, many boulders” a new element, death and hardness (referring to the boulders).

    All of a sudden in stanza four (another one-liner) “'Moon!' you cry suddenly, 'Moon! Moon!'” an interruption, an isolated chunk of dialogue that finally breaks the tension as Frieda (presumably) herself cries out to the Full moon in the night sky. This is the climax the breaking point, and where we actually find out that she is present in the poem.

    The final Stanza, Stanza five, “The moon has stepped back like an artist gazing amazed at a work that points at him amazed.” is a reaction to the previous stanza’s outburst. The moon is personified and given a higher position, as an artist, a creator. Ironically the Full moon that begins the title of the poem also finished it off.


    Part 1

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  21. Dover Beach
    By Matthew Arnold

    The sea is calm to-night.
    The tide is full, the moon lies fair
    Upon the straits; on the French coast the light
    Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand;
    Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.
    Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!
    Only, from the long line of spray
    Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,
    Listen! you hear the grating roar
    Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,
    At their return, up the high strand,
    Begin, and cease, and then again begin,
    With tremulous cadence slow, and bring
    The eternal note of sadness in.

    Sophocles long ago
    Heard it on the A gaean, and it brought
    Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow
    Of human misery; we
    Find also in the sound a thought,
    Hearing it by this distant northern sea.

    The Sea of Faith
    Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
    Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
    But now I only hear
    Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
    Retreating, to the breath
    Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
    And naked shingles of the world.

    Ah, love, let us be true
    To one another! for the world, which seems
    To lie before us like a land of dreams,
    So various, so beautiful, so new,
    Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
    Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
    And we are here as on a darkling plain
    Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
    Where ignorant armies clash by night.

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  22. POETRY COMMENTARY

    By: Sara Welander 9B

    This commentary is on the poem “Dover Beach” by the English poet Matthew Arnold. “Dover Beach” is a poem mainly about the sea the night it was written and descriptions of the waves crashing against the cliffs. Later on in the poem it tells about how the world is full of human misery and that there is neither love, happiness, or peace in the world we live in. The key themes of “Dover Beach” are of however beautiful the world is it is filled with sadness and depression. The themes include human misery and the northern seas ‘tone of sadness’.

    This first stanza of “Dover Beach” explains the main scenery of the beach and the sea that night. It describes the waves’ movement upon the beach but ends up concluding the sadness of the scene. Concerning the last line 'the eternal note of sadness in' is a kind of metaphor describing how the waves bring in sadness. The second stanza leads on the poem from descriptions of the beach to the history of the greek god Sophocles recalling the Aegean sea which is a sea off the greek islands. It is named after a myth of the King Aegean who had took suicide jumping in the sea. This indicates the sadness and human misery of the sea. The third stanza tells about how much the 'sea of faith' was full and bright but now has become so isolated, depressing, and sharp. It is to show not just what happened to the sea, but also to the world. The fourth stanza is the conclusion or theme of the whole poem. 'For the world, which seems to lie before us like a land of dreams, so various, so beautiful, so new, hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light'. These four lines are the real descriptions of the whole theme of the poem. They tell that through all this beauty you need to find the truth of the mystery of the world. To see how dark and violent it is.

    The wider meaning of this poem is mainly elaborated around the 3rd stanza when the poet mentions the 'Sea of faith' and its eternal wonderment of it at first, but now, that wonderment has faded into nothing and it all, from the poets point of view, is dark and with never-ending sadness put in. The sea of faith, if you look deeper into it, is the actual world itself. The 1st lines of the last stanza also has a deeper, wider meaning to it. I mentioned this before as well. How the truth has to be found in all the beauty and you will see the darkness of the world with either love, peace, nor joy. (commentary continues on next post)

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  23. There is plenty of unusual but beautiful diction used in this poem; 'turbid ebb', 'furled', 'tremulous cadence' etc. The rhythm of “Dover Beach” is not an exact rhythm with not much of any rhyme to it. It is a dramatic, but flowing kind of language, that even though it is not rhythmic it still sounds wonderful to read and listen to. There is plenty of figurative imagery, especially in the 1st stanza with reference of the waves 'beginning and ceasing, with tremulous cadence slow, and bring the eternal note of sadness in'. This image comes clear to your mind because he describes, vividly, the waves' movement and the whole character of the image. The mood and tone is quite sad and depressing, but at the same time quite tranquil to your mind. This poem has no assonance, alliteration, or anything else much like it. But it does have some metaphors put in e.g. 'where ignorant armies clash by night'. This is ,supposedly, referring to the waves and them crashing into the high cliffs of the beach. But the poet turns the idea around and makes the waves to ignorant armies marching in and crashing into the cliffs through the night. Another metaphor I mentioned earlier is 'the eternal note of sadness in'. It is telling the reader how the waves when crashing onto the beach, bring in a bit sadness to it.

    I can't come to think of any other poetry linked to this poem. This is probably because I haven't studied much poetry yet, but as we've been told there is probably going to be a time in the future when I can link this poem to several other poems. Though, I am definitely certain that there must be some poems out there that have similar themes like mine. Many about sadness, the darkness in the world, but also with detailed descriptions of the sea and the deep meaning of it's endlessness.

    My opinion of “Dover Beach” is that it is definitely one of the most beautiful, deeply-meaningful poems I have read in my lifetime. It has a smartly chosen set of diction put in to it, all of them sounding flowing and soothing to the rhythm of the poem. There would be nothing in this poem anyone would want to change about it since it is as wonderful as any poem can get. My overall feelings of it is how much sadness and depression is in this poem . All it mainly was about was depression and darkness. It had this tone of intense, heart-broken longing in it. A sort of infinitive sadness so that you couldn't help thinking about all the horrible things in this world and what we have done to our earth. With all the war that is going on leaving drenching sadness in nearly every human being, it brings concern and sadness to our minds. It was an obvious success of the aim it was given to do; to remind people of the sadness of the world, and behind all its wonder and beauty there will always lie a horrible truth.

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  24. Hope you lke it :)
    English literature- Poetry commentary.
    *-*
    This poem is called ‘On the grasshopper and the cricket’. It is written by John Keats. The main idea of the poem is about summer and winter. The grasshopper hop’s from hedge to hedge singing in the summer and when the winter comes and all the animals and plants have gone to rest, the cricket comes out and sings.
    In the first few lines the poet is showing that the poetry of the earth is never silent even when all the animals are at rest because of the hot sun. Then the grasshopper comes alive, and starts singing in the branches of the trees and then moves on from hedge to hedge. This is the grasshopper’s hobby in the summer and he does it every summer. Then as the poem moves on it starts cooling down into a cold winter, when all the plants and animals are asleep, the cricket comes alive and starts singing, this warms the air up and then it goes back to the grasshopper who is nesting around in the grassy hills.
    The poet does use a lot of hints throughout the poem, he hints at the beginning that the sun is hot, that can show global warming, it can show that the sun is getting hotter and hotter which is affecting the animals and plants around the earth. Then he uses the term ‘cooling trees’ which hints that the trees are tall and this could be set in the forest. This can also be guessed because it says in the winter evening, when there is frost, the next few lines after that also suggest that the area was fresh and large.
    The poem is written with the first line being the title of each stanza, and then it has a rhyme scheme of aa bb cc d. The poet does not use any alliterations because the poem is more like a story that is being told to us about how the grasshopper and the cricket spend their summer and winter days. The poet creates a mystical atmosphere because everything is silent and asleep when the grasshopper and cricket sing.
    This poem reminds me of children playing in the hot summer and the cold winters, they play and play all day and then they are exhausted by the evening, then they play again in the evening until they go to bed, also if the poem did not tell me that the grasshopper and the cricket sing, then I would not have guessed it, because the vocabulary used suggests a big area which is creepy and mysterious and you expect a wolf to be the main idea of the story but instead it is a grasshopper and a cricket.
    The poem gives out a nice feeling, a feeling that no one is around you and that you are connecting with the animals and that you can even hear them in the silence of the day and night, it was a successful poem and very strong. It also creates strong images of deep dark forests and dry summery forests, so overall I liked the poem.

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  25. Amends Commentary
    By: Adrienne Rich
    The poem I am studying is Amends by Adrienne Rich. In the poem the Adrienne Rich describes the night and the moonlights feelings. This poem is about the relationship between the moonlight and the sleeping people. The moon feels sorry for the sleeping people because it wishes that the people will release there bad memories while they sleep. Hence attempting to make amends .
    In the first stanza the poet is describing the night and the surroundings.
    In the second stanza the poet is describing the actions of the moonlight. In the third stanza the poet describes further the journey of the moonlight across the land. The fourth and final stanza describes how the moonlight seeps in through the cracks in the windows and doors of the trailers and hovers over the sleeping humans eyelids and attempts to wash away the troubles of the day .. hence attempting to make amends.
    The hidden meaning in this poem I think is that the moonlight feels as though during the night its peace to humans and creatures alike. It feels sorry that the humans have negative energy throughout the day and hopes to help by making positive energy … hence amending.
    The poem is written in no particular rhyming pattern , there is also no obvious rhythm. The first stanza is written , describing the scene. The poet describes the scene in a different way then you would set the scene.

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  26. Amends By Adrienne Rich
    Nights like this: on the cold apple-bough
    a white star, then another
    exlploading out of the bark:
    on the ground, moonlight picking at small stones

    as it picks at greater stones as it rises with the surf
    laying its cheeck for moments on the sand
    as it licks the broken ledge, as it flows up the cliffs,
    as it flicks across the tracks

    as it unavailing pours into gash
    of the sand-and-gravel quarry
    as it leans across the hangared fuselage
    of the crop dusting plane

    as it soaks through cracks into trailers
    tremulous wit sleep
    as it dwells upon the eyelids of sleepers
    as if to make amends.

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  27. First Draft - Lament
    Samantha Cassar Ellis

    It isnt finished, but this is what ive got so far ..



    Paragraph 1
    The title of this poem is ‘Lament’ written by Gillian Clarke. This poem is about the Gulf War, which happened in 1991 between The United States with Britain against Iraq . The poem is discribing all the people, creatures and anything else that was hurt in this war. Lament is the main key word in this poem.
    Paragraph 2
    In stanza 1 the poet is describing a turtle that is looking for a safe place to lay her eggs. In stanza 2 the poet is describing the sea and the beaches which have been polluted by oil from bombed oil wells. Stanza 3 overlaps with stanza 2 it is about the oil pollution in the sea and how the burning oil seemed to make the sun disappear and how it poisoned the land and the sea. Stanza 4 is telling us about the radio interviews on the radio and the war going on and people listening to it the line that says ‘the soldier in his uniform of fire’ comes from a picture showing a soldier burning alive after his tank blew up. Stanza 5 is about all the animals in the sea being affected by the pollution of the oil and the war going on with missiles which leave all the mammals confused. The 6 stanza looks as if it is describing the war ground or no man’s land were the soldiers are running from one trench to the other and dying on their way there and how it is filling the place up with anger. The final stanza is describing the environment after the war, how the ground is burnt, the sun blocked out my all the ashes and smoke coming from the oil burning in the ocean and truth behind war.

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  28. Dylan, I liked your commentary, the description was very well used, you explained the poem well :)

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  29. Max,

    WHAT WORKS - You have a really well-written poetry commentary. It really makes the reader understand what the poem is about. I also love the poem you gave as an example as i wasn't able to do so with my commentary.

    SUGGESTIONS - You could give a little more reference to the lines of the poem and what they mean. Maybe explain the word 'a-roving' because a few people might not know the meaning of it.

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  30. Constructive criticism:

    i thought the way that you kept on about love staying on through old age, and that it equals young-love. the poem that you compared it to did compare well, and i liked the poem too. the way you explained what each stanza meant was clearly written, and easy to understand.

    although you clearly wrote your thoughts, i don't think that you went into enough detail, and didn't explain as much as you could. and i don't think the way you put the other poem into the middle of the commentary was a good idea, as it broke it up, and i first thouhgt you left out the conclusion.

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  31. @Max
    Max
    I enjoyed reading your commentary and i found your inference about the how love stays strong and the way old people cannot do what young people can but the love can still stay strong.

    I think i would have been better if you had not placed another poem right in the middle, perhaps at the end as a foot note would have been better.

    I also agreed with the poem that you linked, the meanings and content in the poems are similar and relevant.

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  32. Evita Otigbah - Lament

    I think you have done really well in your commentry. The way you described everything and linked them to other pieces of the poem was really well done, but i think you can describe a little bit more though because you havnt described everything to its full potential ( sorry more work for you :P ). On the whole it is very strong and gets to the point and it made me understand the poem way more since i am doing it to.

    The book you linked it to seem's like a perfect match about anger, violence and death and how everything gets affected because of one thing. Which in the poem is the war.

    On the whole it's very good, well done :)

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  33. (the first one i submitted was for max...)

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  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  35. Time... Allen Curnow

    The poem “Time” by Allen Curnow is about time seen as everything that happens in the world. The author describes many occurrences in different places. He describes time being these instants. Time, in his eyes, is the nature, animals, smells, noises, touchable and not-touchable things, moments, etc.; so time is everything that exists now. In the end of the poem time is described as ‘the Beginning and the End’ which summarizes all the things mentioned before.
    The poem starts with descriptions of many things that all are time. Time is speaking of itself, saying what it is. It tells us it is the air, a water-race, a mileage, the dust, the distance, the sums, the cows, nine o’clock in the morning, a slap of the belting, the smell of machines, a place, a music, a noise and a sawmill. In the fifth paragraph it says it is everything that exists and that it calls down, condenses and confers. In the last paragraph, time is described as island, sea, father, farm and friend. The author writes that time is ‘the Beginning and the End’.
    The author wants to show with this poem that time is everywhere and everything. So nothing can exist without time. Most of the lines start with “I am…” Time is telling about himself.
    The atmosphere in this poem is not disturbing or wild. Line to line there is time being something that exists. Though, in the end, the author changes his writing style a bit. He starts with “I, Time, call down…” The last paragraphs make you especially interested because they are different from the before.
    I don’t know many other poems, but I know that untouchable things like “Time” are often topics of poems. That’s, I think, because nobody can describe them very well, and authors of poem want to try to describe them. They are good at using words. So, here, the author described Time as everything.
    I think this poem is good, because it gives a feeling of the whole world. It sets you into different scenes in different places. That’s very interesting and the poem has a good ending, which you want to think about. “I am, you have heard it, the Beginning and the End”.

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  36. Constuctive Critisism

    Max: Good structure and flow in the second and fourth paragraph, good fifth paragraph with conparison
    Syggestions: maybe more information and detail in third paragraph

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  37. Evelina: constructive critisism:

    i thought that you explained the subject well, and went into depth to explain about the poem. you chose a poem to compare it to, and the poem matched the same idea well.

    however, i thought some of your paragraphs were too short, and could go into further depth, and to write down more thoughts. plus you put the second poem in the middle of the commentary, which broke up the commentary too much.

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  38. Evelina,

    WHAT WORKS - Your poetry commentary was amazing. It directly told what it was about and went straight to the point. How you also mentioned a bit about the poet in the 1st paragraph was really good.

    SUGGESTIONS - Explain more about the theme of the poem. I want to know what was the deeper meaning of it.

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  39. sam, i liked your commentary because of the way it talks about two subjects at once, i also liked the way you explained each paragraph out, the description was very good too :D

    ReplyDelete
  40. I liked reading it has very good Structure ! in the Fifth paragraph you detailed more and it's very good .
    Thought you can be a bit more detailed about the other paragraphs :))

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  41. Max:

    what works:paragraphs 1 and 2 work well, paragraph 4 is good because you actually named the examples that rhyme from the poem, conclusion is very good.

    suggestions:I didn't understand paragraph 3, I think you should describe the "sword and its case part" a little more in paragraph 4, also i think you should change the other poem, because it is only about time, but it is not about love, and your poem is about love more.

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  42. @Evelina

    Evelina,
    Your commentary was wellw written however i feel a lack of explanation about the subtext, and the perhaps why the author was writing the poem to explain the mood and meaning.

    From my personal reading lament is not about environment dying but more about war and people's loss, but you did well

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  43. The flower-fed buffaloes of the spring
    In the days of long ago,
    Ranged where the locomotives sing
    And the prairie flowers lie low;
    The tossing, blooming, perfumed grass
    Is swept away by wheat,
    Wheels and wheels and wheels spin by
    In the spring that still is sweet.
    But the flower-fed buffaloes of the spring
    Left us long ago.
    They gore no more, they bellow no more,
    They trundle around the hills no more;
    With the Blackfeet lying low,
    With the Pawnees lying low.

    By Vachel Lindsay

    The Flower-Fed Buffalo poem was written by Vachel Lindsay, It seems to show a way of progress as the buffaloes are moving on, and have left where they were and how people come and go. E.g. the Blackfeet and Pawnees where groups who have now ‘died out’ due to the new man (signs of progress).
    In the poem it says that the buffaloes would come in the spring a long time ago, near the rail way track and the blooming flowers and the growing wheat. The train is passing by. This still remains there but the buffalos are progressing and have moved on since then, showing more progress throughout the poem.
    On the 4th line it comments on the “prairie flowers” lying low as they are being trampled on and eaten. The buffaloes moved away from this area long ago and have never been back since. It says how new man has changed the whole world.
    The way it was written was confusing as there are terms of people/ groups from previous dates and not everybody knows what they are. It has a lot of repetitive words, e.g. there gone no more, they bellow no more, they trundle around the hills no more. It has a good rhyming scheme of a-b-a-b and doesn’t have a syllable rhyme. I believe its saying that man has changed the world so much in good ways and bad ways, and there’s a lot of progression made. He tells us about the landscape and how the spring is blooming.

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  44. Constructive Criticism
    Max

    What really worked in your commentary is the way you described the poem and its meaning. The 1st and 2nd paragraphs were very detailed and I liked that you explained the poem stanza by stanza. The last paragraph was, in my opinion, the best because you did a lot of conclusions and own opinions. You could easily see that you have thought a lot about your poem and worked out many meanings in it.

    I have some suggestions that could hopefully improve your commentary. I don't know what the word a-roving means and because it is very important in the poem and you also use it very often in your commentary, it would be helpful to explain it. At the end of the 4th paragraph it is getting a bit complicated because you used so many examples out of the poem. Maybe you could arrange your 4th paragraph a bit more clearly.

    Caroline :]

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  45. Constructive Criticism
    Evelina

    I really liked the way you described the sad atmosphere in the poem. Your word-choice ('builds up this sad feeling'/'in order to think about the line') was really good. In the last paragraph you explained very good how you felt about the poem.

    What I suggest you is to write a bit more in the 2nd paragraph. You could describe the content of the poem more and write a bit more about every paragraph of the poem. That you put the poem into the commentary was good, but maybe it would be placed better at the beginning than at the end.

    Caroline :D

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  46. Christina,

    WHAT WORKS - Even though you said in last paragraph you didn't know much of the meaning of the poem, you explained it really well. I also like how you gave a little background to the poet and not just mention his name.

    SUGGESTIONS - Give more reference to some of the lines of the poem and give examples of good diction/vocabulary etc. Elaborate your paragraphs a bit more too.

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  47. Luke,

    WHAT WORKS - Everything pretty much works. You did everything that was asked for. You referenced to lines in the poem, gave an easy explanation about it, told the rhyme and rhythm, gave an example of another poem, and you elaborated everything giving the reader a clear understanding.

    SUGGESTIONS - You could put it into paragraphs as it was quite hard to see when the next subject came up. You could also tell more about your opinion of the poem.

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  48. Andrew,

    WHAT WORKS - I really like the last paragraph of you telling your opinion of the poem and its meaning. The explanation of the poem worked very well too.

    SUGGESTIONS - As i've said to other people before, give more references to the lines in the poem and explain them. Otherwise everything was great. Also, post the poem so we can see what it is your telling us about.

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  49. Dylan,

    WHAT WORKS - For the 1st part of your commentary (haven't read 2nd part since you havent posted it yet) i really thought the stanza-by-stanza was effective and deeply elaborated. You really described the stanzas in much deeper detail than all the other ones i commented on.

    SUGGESTIONS - Well, i would suggest for you to post the 2nd part or atleast say where it is posted, because people get confused where the 4 other paragraphs of your commentary are. For the 1st part, there aren't much of any suggestions i can give you. Its perfect!!

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  50. Luke: Constructive Criticism:

    i think you did a brilliant job on the commentary as a whole: you went into great detail to explain the meaning of the poem, and what it set out to do. you also chose good lines to quote, and i like the sonnet you compared it to, and was a good choice.

    i can't find that many negative points on you summary, only being that i think you could have put more of a personal thought, and explain more of your feelings into the poem. also, as sara pointed out before, paragraphs would make it easier to read, and define certain points.

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  51. sara: constructive criticism

    i thought your commentary was well writen, and went into extreme depth to explain the details, stanzas, atmosphere, and the meaning of the poem. also, you went into great detail to say about your personal feelings about the poem, which helped me understand the poem more aswell.
    again, i can't find many problems, only that it was so large it had to be broken into three, and that you couldn't find anything else to compare it to, but then again, i couldn't either, meaning the poem was unique.

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  52. @Christina

    Worked; I enjoyed reading the commentary as i felt that i understood how YOU felt about the poem, i liked the fact that you summarized the poem in the first paragraph and then in the second paragraph u built upon each explanation of the stanzas.

    Suggests; you could add more thoughts, quotes from the poem so that people can understand where your goin with your points, as well as add a little bit more detail in the 3 and 4th paragraphs as there is so much more you can put! :)

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  53. Rosie: constructive criticism

    i thought you explained the meaning of the poem well, and got the idea of the poem right. when i read your commentary, i got an idea of the poem, even though you didn't post one. you put down your personal thoughts, and explained the layout well too.

    as mentioned, you didn't post a poem, so i couldn't get some of the information you were referring to, or getting the information from. also, you didn't go into as much detail as you could of, and finally, the paragraphs were hard to make out. otherwise, a good job.

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  54. Anna

    Works; You did well in the first paragraph, i was able to understand what the poem was about easily, u also described the stanzas in great detail which was good, the 4th paragraph was also well written as you explained the rhyme,rhythm etc.

    Suggests; you could aswell add more references to the poem when your giving hints in the third paragraph and you could try and relate to a book you have read for paragraph 5. :)

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  55. Caroline: constructive criticism

    i thought you wrote your ideas about the poem out well, and gave good examples, and explained the poem, and its atmosphere well too. when i read your commentary, i got an idea about what the poem was about, even though you didn't post a poem. good use of words too.

    As said previously, you didn't post the poem, and although i said i got the idea of the poem, i didn't get the whole idea or the whole atmosphere. also, the first 2 paragraphs were superb in detail and description, but then i think it got a little less detailed as i read further on, and it got less descriptive. otherwise, a smashing job.

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  56. @Ryan Dunn

    Works; Your first paragraph was good i understood what the poem was about [which is good to know, heh] in the second paragraph you seemed to know the poem well enough to give your opinion and relate to the poem itself. you also seemed to know the poem in depth when you talk about it in your other paragraphs.

    Suggests; try an be more clear when you are explaining your points and also include what you can relate the poem to ;]

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  57. Semaj ;D

    Works; you seem to know the poem, thats always good heh but you managed to capture the moments of the poem “The Cricket’s song, in warmth increasing ever,” and use them to link the poets ideas with your opinions, apart from not finishing the poem it was well structured.

    Suggest; you could be a bit more clear and try to elaborate more on what you say about the poem, like in the first paragraph with the themes and what it is about. ;]

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  58. Evita :]

    Works; You Structured the poem commentary very well, you explained things in great detail and made sure you got your point/opinions/thoughts stand out clearly, you also described the poem extremely well. you also had long paragraphs which meant that you understood the poem and after reading this i understood as well.

    Suggests; the only thing i can think of is that you could make your paragraphs more clear , and i mean that you could show where one paragraph ends and another begins. although that could just be the way the comment is structured. ;] Well done !

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  59. Kim ;]

    Works; you described the poem well enough that i could understand within moments of reading it what it was about, you put a lot of your feelings into the poem which was good and you also explained more in detail of what the 'sad' part of the poem could have meant, the ‘Dark River of blood’ verse.

    Suggests; after reading and looking at your poem i found some paragraphs were hard to understand, so that could be a point to take in. but apart from that great job ;]

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  60. max
    what works: I really liked how you explained the stanza en say what they mean, en how you explained the whole poem.

    Suggestions: What means a-roving maybe you can explain this word and say what it is standing for?

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  61. evelina

    what works: Giving you own meaning what you think of it! I really liked your poem commentary :D

    suggestions: maybe you have to explain more of the stanza's?

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  62. Christina :)

    What worked : I thought she showed she had a broad knowledge of the poem . She showed she understood the hidden meaning and that she understood what she was talking about

    Suggestions: I don't really know what to suggest, but um maybe you could have shown more like personal opion through out.
    xD

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  63. Evelina :)

    What worked : When I read hers I was like : Wow . she really knew the poem lol . Her background knowledge I think just showed how well she seemed to understand what she was talking about. I think suggesting how to read the poem was a really good idea and that worked.

    Suggestions : I don't really have any suggestions because I thought it was really good.

    xD

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  64. Luke

    What works: You explained the poem really well and you let us see what the actor( or what it's called) means in this poem.

    Suggestions: Maybe it is better to do more paragraphs because i think it is easer and nicer to read. :)

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  65. Ryan :)
    What worked : I think that the way Ryan connected the poem to the characters married life really made his piece stronger.

    Suggestions : Maybe if he had included some personal comments like whether he liked the poem or not may have helped. But I think it was really good

    xD

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  66. Cristina:

    what works: You really explained it very well :D
    an it is with the paragraph good to read..

    Suggestions: O dont know :O
    maybe more from a few stanza what you think of it ?

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  67. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  68. By the first ryan i mant ryan dunn :P

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  69. Toby :)

    Works : He shows he knows basically what is happening in the poem. His word choices help explain the poem better

    Suggestions : Maybe um expanding a little more and he says there are some tricky words in the poem, perhaps he could explain what those are and their meanings

    xD

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  70. Andrew :)

    What works : I think he shows a really good knowledge of the poem . I like how he continually refers to the poem to back up his opinions or tellings.

    I have no suggestions

    xD

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  71. valentina :)

    What works : the constant refering to the poem helps show the reader what you are talking about, i think anyways. Um her language is good and she shows a good amount of knowledge of the book .

    Suggestions : Maybe think about different ways to interpret.. ?
    xD

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  72. Rosie,

    WHAT WORKS - Throughout the whole commentary you gave a beautiful explanation of what the poem was about and it's deeper meaning. It gave us a good understanding what you are talking about.

    SUGGESTIONS - Write a bit more of the structure and perhaps examples of metaphors. I would also suggest that you give a few references to lines of the poem as well. Other than that, it was great!! :)

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  73. Rosie :)

    You seemed to understand what was going on in the poem well. I liked the way you said you wouldnt have guessed it was a grasshopper and a a cricket :P That was funny

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  74. Tatiana :

    She showed that the poem was known [ :S sorry i wanted to say something different then : she showed good knowledge of the poem cuz i've said that for almost all of the comments i've written :P ] Anywhoo um i like how she compared the poem to another similar poem and actually pointed out the similarities. I thought that helped me understand

    xD

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  75. Siri,

    WHAT WORKS - I really like what you wrote in the 1st paragraph, giving the reader a good introduction to the poem. I also liked what you told us about the theme/deeper meaning of 'amends'.

    SUGGESTIONS - You could add more of your opinion of the poem and elaborate the stanza-by-stanza analysis.

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  76. Dylan :)

    He did a really good job and explained the poem well. I really likes how he would type out every line and explain it and how he identified things such as personification

    I didn't really get the blood and boulders bit so maybe you could have explained that better

    xD

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  77. Sam,

    WHAT WORKS - I really how you gave a bit of the poems background in the 1st paragraph, telling about which war it was in. And the explanation of the poem was very clear to the reader.

    SUGGESTIONS - Well, i would suggest for you to post the 2nd part of the commentary. Otherwise everything was pretty good. Keep it up!

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  78. Max :)

    Wow. I think he explained the poem really well and I really like his choice in words. He showed he knew what he was talking about and that he knew what the poet was talking about

    xD

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  79. Caroline,

    WHAT WORKS - The whole commentary is really well-written and have really been discussed in depth. I especially like the 5th paragraph explaining why other poems have the topic of time. You really made it to make sense.

    SUGGESTIONS - The 2nd paragraph, stanza-by-stanza analysis, was a bit confusing. Break down to all the stanzas one by one. Otherwise, everything else was great!!

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  80. Toby,

    WHAT WORKS - You gave a lot of references to the lines from the poem which made your commentary come out much more elaborated and in depth. :)

    SUGGESTIONS - Add your opinion of the poem in your final draft so we can see what your feelings are of it. Discuss more about the theme, as well.

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  81. Evelina: What works, I liked your structure and how you arranged your points, good comparison with Lament

    Suggetstions: Maybe elaborate on your first paragraph, try to provide more detail where possible

    Christina What Works very good secnond paragraph simple but effective brief description, nicely layed out

    Suggestions Paragraphs after the second could be longer and in more detail

    Onour: what works great use of vocabulary, introduction was good

    Suggestions: be clearer at the start of when you were talking about the rhythm but the rest of that paragraph was really good

    James: what works Very good amount of detail, good understanding of poem, the third paragraph was really good especially the first bit

    Suggestions: obviously you need to compare the poem with something and write a conclusion. Maybe add some more detail in the second paragraph but not a lot more

    Ryan what works: very good vocabulary, i liked the intro a lot, the second paragraph was very detailed

    Suggestions: maybe add a bit more detail to the third paragraph,elaborate on why the person is implying stuff

    Tatiana What Works:Very good intro, very clearly structured

    Suggestions: longer paragraphs with more detail, leave opinions till the end

    Andrew what works: a lot really, great detail, great vocabulary, I like how u talked about the rhythm

    Suggestions: may be put more detail into the third paragraph

    Kim: what works:Good idea labelling each paragraph, nice structure

    Suggestions: maybe some more detail in paragraph 3 and 4


    Sara what works: great amount of detail great opinions and very good second paragraph

    Suggestions: may be arrange your points slightly better to help the flow

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  82. Val,

    WHAT WORKS - You have so effective and smart vocabulary used throughout the commentary i am amazed your just in 9th grade. You clearly went in depth with the poem telling us about each line. It shows that you must of been working hard on this commentary and really proved your point of what you were going to say.

    SUGGESTIONS - It would be better if you could give us a more simple and clear explanation in the 1st paragraph so we can understand the poem a bit more. :)

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  83. Constructive Criticism
    Luke

    I really like your commentary. It described everything in detail and it was well-written. It was a brilliant work!! You wrote a lot about the content and the meaning of your poem and also a bit about the author. Well Done!!

    I'd suggest to put a little bit more personal comment. But more suggestions i really can't do, your work was really good.

    Caroline

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  84. Constructive Criticism
    Toby

    Your commentary was written in a way I could easily understand and it gave me a better view what the poem was about. That you posted the poem at the beginning was great,too! The last paragraph was also good written because it told about the poem over all.

    What I suggest is to write with which poem you can compare yours. You haven't even mentioned anything about another poem or poets that address similar issues.

    Caroline :)

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  85. Toby ... Is ownage! :)

    I really thought that your poetry commentary was very well structured and put a lot of detail into it. I liked the fact that you wrote it in a way that is very easy to understand what you are talking about it.

    Suggestion: To put a little bit of your personal feelings.

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  86. Constructive Criticism
    Valentina

    Your commentary was fantastic! You gave us so much information about the poem and you showed us that you have worked with your poem very hard. It was great that you wrote about the author in your 1st paragraph and that you explained so many lines of your poem. It made me understand the poem much better.

    The only thing I can think about that you could improve is probably the last paragraph. You could write a little bit more about your overall feeling about the poem.

    Caroline ^^

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  87. Onur

    Works; you structured the poem very well and included a nice amount of detail although.

    Suggests; you could elaborate more in the first paragraph and make it more clear as well as including more references to the poem.

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  88. Onur... or Onyo! =D

    What works was the use of vocabulary and your descriptive paragraphs.

    Suggestions: To be a bit more clear about the structures of the stanzas in your poem.

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  89. Constructive Criticism
    Samantha

    I loved your 1st paragraph of your commentary and the information about the war you gave us. The 2nd paragraph was written in a way that was really easy to understand and I liked the way you described every single stanza.

    Well, there are missing the other paragraphs, but you already wrote that it wasn't finished.
    But the paragraphs you already had were really good.

    Caroline :P

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  90. I Apologise for the seperation of the two Parts of my commentary But here is Part 2!!!!!


    This poem is laden with deeper meanings and subtext. One of the main lines that I consider to have subtext is “A dark river of blood, many boulders”. Knowing that the author’s wife (Sylvia Plath) had committed suicide I interpret this as a reference to the difficult life led by Ted Hughes. “, balancing unspilled milk.” I think the milk in this line is taking the place of Frieda, and the person balancing the milk is Ted Hughes. I believe this is Ted Hughes protecting his daughter (balancing the Pail of Milk) from their difficult and shocking past (the river of blood and the boulders.

    When Hughes talks about the moon “The moon has stepped back like an artist gazing amazed at a work that points at him amazed.” I think he is referring to his love for his daughter, and the moon as a creator. As Frieda is pointing at the moon, it notices her and steps back to admire such a wonderful creation of nature.
    The poem it self is rather short, and is structured to go with the content i.e.) the line “'Moon!' you cry suddenly, 'Moon! Moon!'”Is separate from the bindings of a multiple line stanza, it sits on its own to emphasize the suddenness of the shout. The writing of the poem does not have a rhyme scheme or many types of literary devices such as alliteration and assonance.
    It is like a recount, a memory that has been portrayed using poetic language and metaphors. However the first line sets out a sort of canvas, “A cool small evening shrunk to a dog bark and the clank of a bucket”, after this small areas are described. As a reader you don not know exactly where the poem is told from, only a select few things are actually described such as “Cows are going home in the lane there, looping the bushes with wreaths of warm breath--” and “A pail lifted, still and brimming”

    This poem is very different from other poems I have read. It is much more modern and similar to prose than what I am used to. However, it does remind me of a book that I read several years ago called The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer, about a young boy who was sheltered from he rest of the world. He was a unique boy, who eventually escaped the ‘bubble’ that others had put around him, and went to face to world with all its ugliness and beauty.

    I personally like the poem, a lot. It challenges the reader to delve deep into the words. I don’t know quite what it is the poem was set out to achieve, but if it was Ted Hughes showing his love for his daughter and her innocence then he has definitely conveyed the message. He also demonstrates the wonder of nature, the nature in the dark that most people do not get to see.

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  91. Sonnet 43
    Elizabeth Barret Browning

    The poem I wrote about is called Sonnet 43 which was written by Elizabeth Barret Browning in 1850. The general subject of the poem is love and Christianity, and the way she expresses her love to her husband. The poem is about Elizabeth Browning (the writer) expressing her love to her husband, Robert Browning.

    In the first two lines of the poem, she is expressing her love to her husband by saying “Let me count the ways” as there are many ways that she loves her husband and when she says “I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My Soul can reach…” means that she loves / cares for him so much. On the 7th and 8th lines, she is probably saying that she is not ashamed of her love for her husband and that she’ll love him with a pure heart, when saying “I love thee freely and purely.” And for the last lines, she is saying that she will love him for all her life, through hardships and joys, and until she dies.

    Elizabeth Browning seems to be suggesting her love in the poem. The poem could be more interesting if she didn’t make it obvious of her love for her husband. Example: Instead of starting with “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” She could start off with “How do I feel for thee? Let me express the ways.” So it will keep us thinking of the poem and wondering ‘Is it love that she is talking about or is it hate?’

    The poem isn’t structured in stanzas, but is structured with just a continuation of lines, like a sort of short story or a message of some sort. There is no rhythm and rhyme to the poem in the first part, but the parts that do have a rhyme is lines 2, 3, 4, 5, which is A, A, B, B. There is also of the lines 6 and 7. The words that rhyme there are candle – light and Right. The lines of 8, 9, 10, and 11’s rhyme scheme is A, B, A, B. And of lines 12, 13, and 14 is A, B, A. The imagery I get from this poem is of a married couple that is in love with each other, and the wife expressing her love to the husband. The mood and tone isn’t of a sad one, but more of a loving and joyful one with no hates involved between them. The way the atmosphere is created with words such as ‘I love thee freely, as men strive for Right’ and ‘I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.’ and ‘I love thee with passion put to use.’

    This poem mostly links to the poem of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare because it mentions that she loves him even after death, which is also linked to Romeo and Juliet. The text she uses is also a bit dramatic when she mentions ‘Smiles, tears, of all my life! – And if God choose…’

    I enjoyed reading this poem, and I liked the way she expressed her feelings towards him. It sends a pretty good message for those who are feeling the same thing as advice, and it’s uniquely structured sonnet. I didn’t have any problem of understanding of what she was trying to say. The images it gives are not the most obvious, but are creative and very true as well. In my opinion, I think it is a very successful poem from 1850, and I would rate It 5/5.


    Sonnet 43:
    How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
    I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
    My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
    For the ends of Being an ideal Grace.
    I love thee to everyday’s
    Most quiet need, by sun and candle – light.
    I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
    I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
    I love thee with passion put to use
    In my old grief’s, and my childhood’s faith
    I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
    With my lost saints! – I love thee with the breath,
    Smiles, tears, of all my life! – and if God choose,
    I shall love thee better after death.

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  92. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  93. Tatiana ^_^

    Works; very nice way of introducing the poem, and good references as well as using your own opinions to talk more about the poem.

    Suggests; you could put the poem that you used as the similar one to be later on in the commentary and you could also summarize the poem so that we could get a better understanding to the poem. ;] Good work.

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  94. Constructive Criticism
    Siri

    What I really liked about your commentary is that you describe your poem very well and in your own words. You made me understand your poem and you seemed to understand your poem very well.

    You should have written something about the rhythm, rhyme & structure of your poem. And I suggest to link your poem to another literature you know. If there is no, maybe you could just write about how different poets address similar issues.
    But all in all it was quite good!! :)

    Caroline

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  95. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  96. Kalean ;]

    Works; you have structured the poem very well! you included a lot of your opinions and thoughts which was good and you also made good references to the poem.

    Suggests; you could talk about the middle of the poem when in paragraph 2 and you could possibly add a bit more detail into the 3rd paragraph but apart from that, A'ight Job there ;p

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  97. Dylan constructive criticism

    well, i think you did a very thorough commentary, going into great depths to explain what you were pointing out and stating. i think you did very well on the first few paragraphs, and when i read them, the last few.

    suggestions including you could have posted the 2 parts near each other, as it would have been easier to read, especially as you put the stanza descriptions into separate paragraphs. other than that, on some parts you went into a bit too much detail, and on others, a bit too little. other than that, pretty much flawless (other than the left out . at the end of the second paragraph).

    ReplyDelete
  98. valentina constructive criticism

    i think you did a good job describing the stanzas, and different parts of the poem. also a good job describing the layout. also, you posted the poem, so i could compare your thoughts to the poem.

    i don't think you put enough detail and explanation into the commentary, and you didn't give as much of a personal thought as you could of. and didn't go into much depth at some points. still a good piece of writing though.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Sorry Tatiana I Seemed to have missed the first part of your commentary ^_^

    Scrap my last one You summarized the poem really well and it looked as if u knew your poem and you structured it well ;]

    i dont have any suggests, i think you did a'ight ;]

    ReplyDelete
  100. Luke, i thought your poetry commentary was very well written, it included alot of detail and proof to backup your points. Perhaps some seperate paragraphs would have been more aesthetic, aside form that i thoroughly enjoyed your reading into the poem and your report.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Constructive Criticism
    Rosie

    Your commentary was really great!!! I especially liked the last two paragraphs. The comparison between the grasshopper and the little children was really interesting! And the part with the description what you thought about the poem overall and the feeling the poem gives you, was really great written.

    I really don't know what to change about your poem. I honestly think that the commentary is great as it is.

    Caroline :)))

    ReplyDelete
  102. Andy,
    I felt you grasped the meaning of the poem very well and you gave a thorough report of the poem. Your detail abot the rhythm was very good and i liked how you compared it to something personal. Perhaps you could have mentioned wheather the poem was based on any history about the author

    ReplyDelete
  103. Samantha constructive criticism

    you did a good job describing and explaining what the poem was about, and the layout. you gave a thorough description of the poem, and that was a good way of getting the point across.

    there wasn't really a personal opinion throughout the commentary, although i imagine this would be in the final paragraphs. some parts didn't explain as well as others, or didn't go into as much depth, but other than that, it was pretty good.

    ReplyDelete
  104. toby constructive criticism

    i thought you gave good explanations to the line references, and their meaning and purpose. you also explained the story well, and you put the poem up too, meaning i could compare your explanations to the poem.

    i don't think you gave much of a personal opinion, or went into that much depth. it could have described the poem more, but other than those, good job.

    ReplyDelete
  105. poetry commentary Dover beach

    Dover beach is written by Matthew Arnold in 1867 this long lyrical poem is about the white cliffs of Dover and the beauty of Dover. In the beginning of the poem he describes a night in Dover and towards the end he starts to go on and on about how it is beautiful to be there.
    In the first stanza Arnold describes Dover beach on a calm night. In the second he talks about the sea being sad and how it fits in with everything. The writer explains what you hear from the sea. In the fourth stanza having examined the soundscape, Arnold turns to the action of the tide itself and sees in its retreat a metaphor for the loss of faith in the modern age once again expressed in an auditory image. This third stanza begins with an image not of sadness, but of joy similar in beauty to the image with which the poem opens and in the last stanza talks about love and the writers ongoing attempt to show how beautiful Dover is.
    The poet uses a very poetic language which is so descriptive as if he is in love, and as it seems he is but not with a person but with Dover itself. I think the poet is clearly not trying to hint anything in his words but has simply given us his very detailed opinion on Dover beach.
    Throughout the poem there is no real rhyme scheme because every stanza is different, this is definitely not a sonnet but is still written in a rhyming way there is just no pattern. Each stanza is talking about something different, the first is a basic outline of a beautiful night in Dover, the second is a little more detailed than the first and is talking about the sea and the sounds it makes and feelings it gives him.
    Another poem I have read which is relatively long is a poem by Rudyard Kipling called IF, this is really a self motivation poem but it is interesting to see the similarities and differences between these two poets writing styles. for example they both have no real pattern of rhyming schemes between the stanza’s but in the poem Dover beach, the title is never repeated or mentioned throughout the poem unlike in ‘IF’ where it is repeated often. It is also interesting to see that in ‘Dover beach’ it goes into more detail every stanza whereas in ‘IF’ it’s just kept the same amount of information or detail every stanza, I’m not saying this is a bad thing, it’s just that sort of poem.
    My feeling about this poem is that I do not like it, not because it is bad because it is very lovely written but it is just not my sort of poem. In what the poet has said in the poem it makes Dover sound like a very nice and lovely place to visit it… if I didn’t know what it was really like, because Dover in general is a very boring grey place but as the writer say’s the cliffs are beautiful. I think this is a very successful poem and believe it is quit persuasive but at the same time is so detailed it can give you a clear and lovely image and in all honesty I think that’s what the writer set out to do.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Max.
    What Works- You seem to know a lot about your poem and you state a lot about how love is always there even when then poem doesn’t obviously show it. I like the way you go into detail on each stanza.

    Suggestions- add some more opinion to it and say what you liked/disliked about the poem, can I ask how come you posted 2 poems though...? perhaps you could see if there is a rhyming scheme and if there is stat what it is.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Sara, i found your commentary... awesome. The poem itself is long but as you rightly pointed out it uses beautiful words. You provided good insight and what you thought about the poem. the way you continued analyzing the poem after the analysis stage with what was relevant was very good.

    Suggestions: {} (Empty Set)

    ReplyDelete
  108. Siri

    I think that you ana lysed soem of the points in the poem well. However, you didnt go into alot of detail or depth regarding the stanzas and the subtext. perhaps you need to read the poem more and try to read into it, i know its a big poem but i think you might be able to squeeze some more information in :P

    ReplyDelete
  109. Constructive Criticism
    Dylan

    Your poetry commentary was really good. You put a lot of information into it and you wrote a lot about the content, deeper meaning and own opinion. As you described the poem stanza by stanza you went into great detail and made it very interesting to read because you used phrases like 'All of a sudden' or 'starts to break the calmness'.

    I would suggest to structure your commentary a bit better, mainly because it is such a long commentary. The break between the two parts makes it even more confusing.
    But about the content there aren't any suggestions I could think of. ;)

    Caroline

    ReplyDelete
  110. Sam

    I think you understood that the poem was about war and the affect it had on the environment and you portrayed this in your mini commentary

    Suggestions: Finish it (Duh:P) and maybefind out about if the author had any inspiration form his past.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Caroline:

    I liked your comentary :D I thought the way you pointed out that time was an untouchable subject often found in poems was really good, and that it was also the main subject of the poem.

    Suggestions: try putting the poem into your commentary (yeah i forgot too) so people can compare the two :P

    ReplyDelete
  112. Mike.

    What Works- I like the way you compared it to another poem that you had read. I like the way you give your personal feelings about dover and how you think very differently to the poet.

    Suggestions- Put in paragraphs, put the poem before your commentary as I cant compare it to the poem...

    ReplyDelete
  113. Toby,

    If your commentary is complete then i think its a little short, you got the idea of the buffaloes and the progress but i think you might have been able to write a bit more. Also is there nothing this poem reminds you of or tht you could compare it to?

    ReplyDelete
  114. Constructive Criticism
    Andrew

    I think you wrote a great commentary. Your own opinion of the poem and its meaning was also really interesting to read, and you explained everything in detail so I got to know the poem very well.

    I suggest you to post the poem on top of your commentary so that we can compare everything with it. But I didn't do it either...
    So all in all I really think you did this well!!

    Caroline

    ReplyDelete
  115. Valentina

    Your commentary was very good. You inferred quite alot form the sonnet itself and you got the meaning of a strong love. What was the set of 44 sonets, ones that she wrote?

    I also liked how you linked it to the poets own experience.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Rosie.

    What Works- I like the way you express alot of personal opinion and describe in detail alot about what the grasshopper and the cricket dose.

    Suggestions- You could compare It to another poem and try break it down into smaller paragraphs/ ‘chunks’ more.

    ReplyDelete
  117. ohh and dylan.. mine isnt complete because the computer in school delted it and i didnt have time to re-do the whole thing.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Well well well guys,
    Ryan Dunn: good writing, i like ur poem and how u explained it.

    james: good poem :) well written. but i dnt like the poem myself and when i dnt like something i cnt give suggestions. sorry:O

    Ryan Stott: very well written, maybe u cud add more facts about the poem, like the theme. and maybe the facts about the author itseelf. maybe thts interesting?

    Onur: same goes for u, maybe u cud ve written about the author a little bit, like, where he or she is from and so on. but for the rest i liked ur poem:)

    Evita: first when i saw how much u wrote i thought ill never finish reading it! its very longgg man! but i liked the theme of the poem, very well written!!!!

    kim : i liked your poem. its very murder-style like. but to be honest i like stories like this but i also think its very well written !!!! and but maybe u cudve structured your poem a little bit more. but for the rest, BOMBA! :D

    i havent seen bo's, kayleans,poopys, tatianas, annemiekes, mikes and nathans... i dunno maybe u guys have re named urslef or something but i cudnt find ur names here on the blog.

    Hope i did it right :D

    have a great day tomorrow people :)

    ReplyDelete
  119. Kim.

    What Works- I love the way you add a lot of personal feeling about the poem and say that you don’t enjoy long poems as reading isn’t your favourite thing to do :P

    Suggestions- You could compare the poem to another poem and say what’s alike/not alike.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Kalean.

    What Works- I like the way you go into depth about rhyming schemes and compare it to the Romeo and Juliet.

    Suggestions- to be honest I can’t really find much wrong with it... ha-ha.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Sam

    What Works- I like the way you described the poem and how you showed the message well.

    Suggestions- you could compare it to another poem and add some of your personal thoughts to it, but I guess u didn’t get that far on your paragraphs.

    ReplyDelete
  122. the order of the comments is messed up same with the date but w/e

    sam!!!!
    what works- everything i dont see anything wrong with it except for it aint finnished but it tells me alot about the poem and if i liked poetry i would probebly want to read it :P

    suggestions - finnish it and keep up the good work (Y) :)x

    ReplyDelete
  123. Constructive Criticism
    Sara

    Your poetry commentary was great!! Though you had such a long poem, you managed to write about everything of the poem. I especially liked your own opinion of the poem at the and of the commentary. You wrote it really well how you felt about the theme of the poem.

    Suggestions... well, there is nothing that I could think of. The commentary was really long but I think the commentaries were supposed to be really long ;) & you had a really long poem..
    You did really great!!!

    Caroline :D

    ReplyDelete
  124. Siri x

    What Works- I like the way you described the relationship between the moon and the people, it’s easy to read.

    Suggestions- you could go into more depth about certain parts and give more of a personal expression to it.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  125. On the Grasshopper and the Cricket
    ‘On the Grasshopper and the Cricket’ was written by John Keats. It is focusing on how the grasshoppers and crickets come and seem to change the seasons. It seems to be focusing on summer and winter as the themes of the poem. It seems to be showing how the grasshopper and cricket belong in summer. 

    It says that the birds are hiding in the trees from the hot sun and the grasshopper is tired out with fun. Eventually it starts talking about the winter and how it brought silence. Then the cricket breaks the silence as it says, “The Cricket’s song, in warmth increasing ever,” Then it shows how the cricket’s song in the end of winter makes everything drowsy and then the grasshopper comes back and is among many grass hills.

    It always seems to hint to me that he is talking about how the grasshoppers and crickets show the beginning and end of summer and winter. When the grasshopper is mentioned it says how it is tired from all the fun, hinting the end of summer and also it rests, as to not go out into the cold winter. When it says, “The poetry of the earth is never ceasing never” it seems to be the bridge between the summer and the winter, as it says it in the beginning where the summer starts. “On a lone winter evening, when the frost” This is obviously showing that the summer has turned into winter, and maybe the writer thinks that winter is a lonely time. “The Cricket’s song in warmth increasing ever” Shows that the winter is ending and it’s warming up and also shows the happiness of the summer.

    The way it structured is rather different than many poems. It doesn’t have stanzas, but there is indentation on a few paragraphs and it indents more, for two lines at the end. It is a sonnet, and I think it is better as a sonnet. If it was any longer it would end up dragging on. The rhyme scheme is ABBAABBACDECDE. It has 10 beats per line and does not use assonance or alliteration. It creates a nice atmosphere that makes you feel what he thinks about the winter and summer.

    I have read a few other pieces of literature, but not many. This is a very unique piece, and I'm not sure about very many things that uses similar effects. I have read some books, which give the idea of linking nature and the seasons, and giving a larger meaning to all the creatures.

    I really like how this poem links everything to these two very small bugs, and how you can tell that there is a greater meaning there. I think the rhyme scheme is good, and fit the poem (sonnet) well. It is a rather short poem, but not much more could be said about this topic in more lines. Over all, I think that this poem was very well written.

    Full thing, above will be deleted.

    ReplyDelete
  126. rosie:)

    what works:i liked this very much mainly for how clearly you explained the poem but also i think i preffered reading your commentary than the actual poem :)

    suggestions: maybe you could explain abit more and not jump straight to the next thing but if you keep it how it is then its still really good (Y)

    ReplyDelete
  127. Samantha-
    Hope I Did It Right :D


    Rosie – Alot of description, expression and personal opinion which is really good  put cut it down into sections to make it abit more easier to read :D besides that its awsome.


    Andrew – Your commentery was great and very interesting to read, You explained in very good detail which shows you know the poem well.. No suggestions :P


    Toby - Good description, shows you know what the poem is about but maybe make it longer haha :D


    Mike – Your personal feelings about Dover are really good ;) and when you compared it to another poem that was good to but put it in paragraphs make’s it way more easier to read


    Kalean – You included alot of thoughts and good references to the poem and structed it really well to :) ( Yey ) Maybe add a little more detail when describing the poem out, but besides that its really good.


    Luke – Very well written with loads of detail and it made me understand your poem :) No suggestions really well done:)


    Siri – You described it very well in your own words which made it way easier to understand and shows you understood it very well to. What about linking the poem to another piece of work ? That would make it a little bit more interesting and make you work a little more to :D


    Caroline - All of it is well written and is described in great detail and depth. You made it make sence but the 2nd stanza was a little bit confusing break down the stanza’s one by one :)


    Max – The words you used to describe the poem are really good the explanation made it way easier to understand, so well done :D

    ReplyDelete
  128. Sam.

    What works: I love the way you described the poem in it's detail and explaining the way it is constructed.

    Suggestions: Be more honest about your feelings =D.

    ReplyDelete
  129. btw toby on my word document it is in paragraphs but i thought it would remain like that if i just copied and pasted it... clearly i was wrong XD

    ReplyDelete
  130. Andrew - Your commentary was rather interesting and and well structured. I enjoyed reading it and the concept that you included.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Max - The explanation of your poem was very descriptive and interesting, which made it not so boring to read. :)
    Suggestion: Try comparing it with another piece of work if possible, it would make your work more interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  132. andrew
    i agree with sam it was very interesting to read and i have no suggestions because i think its fine the way it is :)

    ReplyDelete
  133. Mike - Your Poetry commentary was good and interesting the way you wrote it, but personally I didn't like the poem itself.

    James: Interesting piece of work Lol... poem, it was well written. I liked the poem a bit because the fact about a poem being on 2 types of bugs interests me for some reason. :P

    Ryan Stott: Very well written and structured, I'd give you an A for it =D. I don't really have suggestions because as my opinion i thought it was really good.

    Luke – Great concept of writing and describing the stanzas! I thought you did well writing the way you felt about it.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Rosie.

    What Works- I liked the way you expressed your personal opinions / feelings for the poem.

    Suggestions- Compare it with another famous poem if possible, overall it was great =D

    ReplyDelete
  135. Kalean - ^^
    I did awesome...ish. I'd give myself an A+! :)

    ReplyDelete
  136. to be honest kalean niether did i i really hated it

    ReplyDelete
  137. mike :)

    mike i think your commentary was good but in future don't choose such a stupid poem :L

    ReplyDelete
  138. Thx for the Paragraph thing XD

    But my paragrphs are clear until i post the comment then after it messes some of the paragrphs up :(

    but i'll keep it in mind to paragraph it so the internet understands and i will review it after post :)

    ReplyDelete
  139. siri :P

    i adore (never used that word before:L) the way you described everything so cleary its very easy to read but for the final draft you should talk in abit more detail

    ReplyDelete
  140. toby
    i like how you said 'it seems' :p
    a good choice of words. keep up the good work

    ReplyDelete
  141. POETRY COMMENTARY:

    Christina

    What worked: You explained the actual poem and your feelings towards it really well. It was good that you said you didn't understand the poem when writing your personal feelings.

    Suggestions: You could talk about the ryhming and rythm more; explain why it has no ryhming or rythm, how it is set up etc.

    _____________________________________________________

    Anna

    What worked: I like how you expressed how you felt about the poem and explained the ryhming of the lines.

    Suggestions: When you explained the stanzas,you used words from the actual poem, and it would have been more understandable if you used your own words instead.

    _____________________________________________________

    Ryan Dunn

    What worked: You explained the poem, its ryhming and its rythm in extreme detail and i enjoyed reading it.

    Suggestions: it would have been a bit better if you included more of your personal feelings towards the poem

    _____________________________________________________

    Ryan Stott

    What worked: You explained the poem, the rhyming and the rythm in lots of detail.

    Suggestions: You could have included your personal feelings, but i think it was because it was unfinished..?

    _____________________________________________________

    Evita

    What worked: I enjoyed reading your commentary :D you explained the poem really well, I understood it.

    Suggestions: You could try expanding your personal thoughts and writing a bit more about that maybe..

    _____________________________________________________

    Kim:

    What worked: I like how you seperated your paragraphs noticabally and yoru whole commentary is structured really well. The infromation in it is good too.

    Suggestions: You could give examples to why there is no rythm or rhyme.

    _____________________________________________________

    Kalean

    What worked: You explained everything in lots of detail and it was really good to read. :D I can't find anything to criticize you with. :P

    _____________________________________________________

    Mike

    What worked: You described the poem and the rhyme and the rhythm good.

    Suggestions: I got confused about where the paragraphs were so you could have made that clearer in some way.

    _____________________________________________________~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    THE END

    ReplyDelete
  142. Max: I really like the way you linked the two poems together XD

    Evelina : your piece was straight to the point which I really loved and I also love the conclusion but I thought you could elaborate more on the analysis in the beginning then I read the poem and saw it was very difficult but you could have included maybe a bit more XD but it’s amazing

    Anna : I really liked yours but I think you should have put the sentences together to make a paragraph :)

    Sam : Your stanza analysis was very well done it looked a bit long but so did mine so I can really complain I think you did a great job so far keep it up and finish it

    Dylan: Well done :D I really liked it and your explanation of the poem was lovely

    Toby: :P you poem commentary was good pity you didn’t finish it *tear* but the analysis was superb

    Kimberley <-- I have to be the weird one right :P : your piece was liked by me, The feelings you express were touching “*smile*

    ReplyDelete
  143. Ryan.S

    I think you did a really good job in explaining the poem. It was well explained (yes)
    It was missing your feelings :O but then again it was unfinished so i probably would have included more of your feelings if it was finished :)

    ReplyDelete
  144. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Luke: Its great that you used quotes to really explain your work. You talked about the actual pace of the poem which was great. You used your own ideas. I enjoyed the fact that you found a poem which is the complete opposite to your own and explained the similarities and the opposites.

    Andrew: It would have helped to see the actual poem. I liked that you used quotes and explained the poem. I liked that you used our own thoughts to illustrate your point.

    Evita: Great work! You had a great use of vocabulary. I really wished to see you used quotes and explained the imagery a bit more.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Caroline,

    Good: I really liked how you wrote the commentary and how you explained some things. It really made me understand the poem a lot better. Also, the part where you said that a lot of poems use 'time' in them was really great =D


    My Suggestions: I think you could work more on the stanza-by-stanza part, though, and break it down a bit.


    ~Tatiana T.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Sara,

    Good parts: I really liked your second paragraph the best. I loved how you broke the poem down like that and explained each stanza clearly on its own. Since I’ve read this poem before, I completely agree with what you wrote. I also like how you’ve written it =)


    My Suggestions: I don’t really have any at the moment…

    ~Tatiana

    ReplyDelete
  148. Kalean,

    Good Parts: I liked how you wrote the poem and stated your opinion on some things very clearly. I liked the 4th paragraph that you wrote the most.

    My Suggestions: I didn’t really like your 3rd paragraph. I mean, if she is writing that poem clearly out of love for her husband, then why should she change the first line to that? Maybe she would’ve wanted the readers to know of her love for her husband.




    Val,

    Good: I really liked how you wrote the commentary and the vocabulary you used =D I also liked how you referred to the poem in some points to explain what you were talking about better, and it shows us what you are trying to say.

    Suggestions: Maybe add more of your personal opinions of the poem in the last paragraph…?



    Evelina,

    Good: I really liked how you showed your knowledge of the poem and how your commentary was written.

    Suggestions: Maybe you could explain the stanzas a little bit more, and add a little bit more information in the first paragraph =)




    Christina,

    Good: I really liked how you expressed how you felt about the poem, how you explained the stanzas, and the first paragraph.

    Suggestions: Maybe add some more quotes from the poem to go with what you’re saying XD




    Luke,

    Good: I really liked how you wrote the commentary and how you used quotes from the poem in the right places.

    Suggestions: You could tell a little bit more of your opinion.



    Dylan,

    Good: I really liked your commentary, and the way you explained the poem. It was well written and easy to understand.


    Suggestions: Sorry, can’t think of any at the moment… ^-^"



    --Tatiana.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Valentina

    i think you managed to analyse the poem really well and you have done a great job.
    But It felt like you rushed (not saying you did you probably did not )the last two paragraphs and it sounded a bit brief. you could add in a bit more in the paragraph on what it reminds you of



    ♪┏(・o・)┛♪

    ReplyDelete
  150. TATIANA : sup?
    i really liked the the way you compared poem to another one :P
    GD JOB

    ♪┏(・o・)┛♪

    ReplyDelete
  151. Kristina:
    What works:
    Paragraph 1 is well written and has everything it needs to have.
    Paragraph 2 is well written and contains everything it needs too.
    Paragraph 6 is well written, however you can add a little part about what it is written for(what it set out to do).
    Suggestions:
    Paragraph 3 needs to be longer and explain the poem in a deeper meaning.
    Paragraph 4 didn’t mention assonance and alliteration and you should talk more about the poem meaning that if you discuss it with yourself it will give you a better understanding of what it is about.
    Paragraph 5 had to have some kind of other linked literature which it didn’t, I think you should look up poems(preferably) about moon, dreaming, night-basically what your poem is about.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Evita

    Worked: I like the way you linked each idea together, was done very well.
    Suggestion: Expand your opinions more, other than that, very well written.

    Christina

    Worked: You explain the basic points of the poem very well.
    Suggestion: Give some personal thoughts, even if you don't understand it, just give the impression you get from it.


    Anna

    Worked: You expressed your feeling well.
    Suggestion: Try to clean up the grammar for the final draft, other than that, good work.

    Ryan Dunn

    Worked: you explained the poem very well and also the theme.
    Suggestion: Use a little bit more detail and do all 5 paragraphs >=O

    Onur

    Worked: You used lots of detail when describing the poem
    Suggestion: Go into more depth about your personal thoughts.

    Ryan Stott

    Worked: Nothing
    Suggestions: Stop failing.
    WAIT!!!!!!
    I mean...ummm....
    Worked: Lots of detail about the meaning of the buffaloes
    Suggestion: FINISH IT@!@!@ Other than that, well done.

    Kim

    Worked: You go into lots of detail with your opinion.
    Suggestions: Go into more detail in the third paragraph, other than that good

    Kalean

    Worked: Good details on the poem
    Suggestion: Go into more detail on your own opinions.

    Mike

    Worked: good links to other poems.
    Suggestions: Go into more detail in places about the poem.

    Tatiana

    Worked: lots of description and detail
    Suggestions: Group your ideas better.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Christina
    i like the way you started off your commentary to the point and good.
    you described the poem well. i enjoyed reading it :)

    James
    poor you your poem is not really my type sorry though you wrote an interesting commentary

    Kalean
    i like how you were to the point on your commentary. the 3rd paragraph was a bit wierd and the 4th the best written i like your style of writing realy advanced i would say :)

    Val
    your commentary was well written though you could have given a few more of your personal comments especially in the last paragraph.:)

    Evelina,
    wow you seem to know a lot about the poem which you showed well in the first paragraph. you could have given a bit more info on each stanza :)

    Caroline,
    i am on your side when you said a lot of writers use time i couldnt agree less good commentary with no suggestions well done :P
    Sara, you really broke down the poem well in the 2nd paragraph and yours was the best and best written well done 100 marks from me :)

    ReplyDelete
  154. Anna:

    What works:
    Paragraph 1 contains all it needs to contain.
    Paragraph 2 has everything it needs to have as well.

    Suggestions:
    Paragraph 1 needs to be formed more wisely, meaning that in the last sentence you didn’t finish it, but went on the second line starting with a capital letter.
    Paragraph 2 has the same mistake as first one does, it has the same problem with not finishing the line but then continuing the same line but with capital letter.
    Paragraph 3 needs to mention death, because I think that it is the deeper meaning of the poem, and you can also add that since people lost their loved ones, sometimes they still continue to feel and love them even if they are dead.
    Paragraph 4-watch your spelling, and I think you need to step back from explaining the poem to us and just talking about its style, how fast it is, is it easy to understand or not?, so I think that if you stop going through the lines and look at the poem in general it will make it easier.
    Paragraph 5-You need to find a poem(preferably) and look for the ones that are about death of one of the lovers, I’m sure that there are quite a few of the poems because love is quite a popular topic for poetry.
    Paragraph 6- in whole it is good, but you can add your personal feelings about the poem.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Ryan Dunn:

    What works:
    Paragraph 2 works well.
    Paragraph 3 is really good.
    Paragraph 4 describes the meaning of the poem very well and easy to understand.

    Suggestions:
    Paragraph 1- need to include the author and say what the title is in the paragraph.
    Paragraph 5- missing, so you need to look it up.
    Paragraph 6- keep what you have already wrote, but add your personal thoughts about the poem.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Onur:

    What works:
    Paragraph 1 works well and has everything it must have.
    Paragraph 2 works well too, and I liked that you explained it very well.
    Paragraph 3 works well too.
    Paragraph 4- I liked that you found the way the poem rhymes (abab, cdcd…)
    Paragraph 6 works well because you mentioned that it was successful, and you added your personal thoughts about the poem.

    Suggestions:
    Paragraph 4- I might disagree that this poem is a happy one, because it is not really happy and not really sad at the same time, so maybe you just say it’s in between.
    Paragraph 5- people write poetry since a very long time ago, so I’m sure that there is a poem or at least a literature piece of work about not exactly the same situation as your poem, but at least about love that needs to take breaks? So you need to find something that links to your poem.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Angelic_girl Rex:

    What works:
    Paragraph 1 is well written and I liked that you included that the author is recent.
    Paragraph 2 is perfect, easy to understand, great.
    Paragraph 3 explains everything and lets us see the meaning of it.
    Paragraph 4 is really good too, and I liked that you even said about the colour/brightness of the poem-darker.
    Paragraph 5- I really loved it that you took the poem written by Wordsworth who is mentioned before in the poem.
    Paragraph 6-I liked that you mentioned your personal opinions about the poem, and said that it was urging you to help out which was really why this poem was written perhaps.

    Suggestions:
    No suggestions, I think that the poetry commentary is very good.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Ryan Stott:

    What works:
    Paragraph 1 work well, you put in everything needed.
    Paragraph 2 is also really good, and it is good that you explained the lines and what they mean briefly.
    Paragraph 4- really well written, includes everything needed and especially I liked that you said that if the poem would be faster, it wouldn’t be as good/effective.

    Suggestions:
    Paragraph 3- I think you should go into deeper meaning, because to me this poem is not about flowers, but also about death(if the flowers are not there anymore they are probably dead), and about replacement.
    Paragraph 5- I can’t find it.
    Paragraph 6- I can’t find it.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Luke:

    What works:
    Paragraph 1 works really well, you really explained briefly what it is about and included author and name of the poem, one more thing I really liked is that you mentioned what time the author is from approximately.
    Paragraph 2 was written very wisely meaning that you didn’t only write the meanings stanza by stanza, but you actually went on and explained the lines, which is really good.
    Paragraph 4 is really good and gives a full understand of what the poem is about and its deeper meanings.
    Paragraph 5 works well because you took the poem, and you described what this poem was about too, meaning that you didn’t just focus on your first one.

    Suggestions:
    Paragraph 3- the beginning of this paragraph looked like 4th paragraph so you should change this information to make it go to the 4th paragraph.
    Paragraph 6 is all good except I think you should put your own feelings about the poem.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Andrew:

    What works:
    Paragraph 1 is good because you kept it brief and it is easy to read.
    Paragraph 2 also works well because you included everything you had to include in this paragraph.
    Paragraph 3 is well written because you did not just talk about the poem, but you mentioned that its deeper meaning is memories which I though was good.
    Paragraph 5- I think that even though you did not write any literary piece that links to this poem, I still believe that you read a lot of poems and books because I know you personally, and that you linked it to yourself is also amazing.
    Paragraph 6- I liked that you expressed your thoughts really well, and that you rated the poem, and I agree that this poem is very interesting.

    Suggestions:
    Paragraph 4- watch the spelling(sylabols-syllables),(lonelyness-loneliness), also say somehitng about alliteration and assonance.

    ReplyDelete
  161. Tweedledee(I guess it is Evita):

    What works:
    Paragraph 1- you put everything you had to put in this first paragraph.
    Paragraph 2 is also good because you put all the information stanza by stanza the ways it was supposed to be, and I also liked that you gave meanings of uncommon words in brackets.
    Paragraph 4- I liked that you included what happened in every stanza, that “For”.
    Paragraph 5- it was really hard to find a poem of this sort, so if you did a book I think it is still good.
    Paragraph 6 is good, and I liked that you managed to include you opinion and something about the author as well.

    Suggestions:
    Paragraph 3- you did it well, but I think you should find its deeper meaning.

    ReplyDelete
  162. HELLOOO PEOPLE XD
    I didn't actually finish the first draft because teach told me to move on and start critizing ;) Soo it like isn't complete xD

    Thank You
    SIRI OUT!
    xox

    ReplyDelete
  163. FINAL DRAFT!!!!!!


    Full Moon and Little Frieda Commentary


    Paragraph One
    Full moon and little Frieda is a poem written by Ted Hughes. Full moon and little Frieda is about a little girls first word ‘Moon’. It starts of just like this; on a cool evening with dogs barking and buckets clanking, with spider’s web, and with dew looking like a mirror. Cows are wandering in their lane. ‘A dark river of blood, many boulders,’ then little Frieda cries out Moon, Moon! Full moon and little Frieda is in fact about Ted Hughes daughter and the moon is him being amazed at her first word moon (he being the moon).

    Paragraph 2
    The first stanza is about a dog bark and a bucket clatter in a cool evening. He says ‘And you listening’ so he is trying to put you in the atmosphere or this barn. He then mentions a spider’s web with dew on it that is reflecting like a mirror scaring you at first. The second paragraph starts of with the cows roaming around their comfortable lane breathing warmly- suggesting that they are happy-. Then Ted Hughes uses a phrase a dark river of blood which could suggest that he wants the reader to think that wither the day has come to an end and that’s what’s left or he is trying to show that blood has been spilt so there is some sort of sadness with Ted or Frieda?. Though then little Frieda calls the Moon. The reaction of the moon is he is surprised and happy to hear his name being called.

    Paragraph 3
    I think Ted Hughes is trying to imply that his daughter Frieda who seems to be very important to him has said her first word and it his name. He is showing the reader that he is important to her as much as she is important to him. It is not a sad poem but some parts like ‘dark river of blood’ suggest that maybe Ted Hughes’ family is having trouble which could be due to the fact that his wife and her mother both committed suicide.

    Paragraph 4
    Full moon and little Frieda is written in a very simply English though the message behind it and the actual meaning of the poem is not obvious. At first it just seems its about a little girl on a farm calls for the moon but after a bit of research on Ted Hughes one realizes it more then just a girl calling the moon it is in fact about his daughter calling him. This is very important to him. It is written in 3 stanzas the first 2 both have 5 verses in each and thea final couplet at the end. There is a lot of imagery going on in the poem that really puts you in the feeling of a peaceful n with the animals minding there own business just doing there own thing and then the little Frieda and the Moon. There is no rhythm or rhyme in Full Moon and Little Frieda. The mood is very relaxed and chilled some points in the poem one feels a bit sad like when he uses ‘Dark River of blood’ but then the rest of the poem there is a happy mood.

    Paragraph 5
    Ted Hughes poem Full Moon and Little Frieda reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl poems as he loves to write about animals and as well put you in a happy mood. There both always have a message behind them and at first may seem very plain and simple but need a bit of word to understand. The only difference is that Roald Dahl writes more for children and they are more for entertainment then anything else where as Full Moon and Little Frieda has a meaning to Ted Hughes. Both writers I like though.
    Paragraph 6
    I like this poem Full Moon and Little Frieda it reminds me a lot of my little sister when she said her first word and it gives you that warm feeling of satisfaction I guess as it is a big step in a persons life for Frieda and Ted, it tells a dad or mother that their kid is growing up. Ted Hughes poem Full Moon and Little Frieda is a short poem which I love as I can’t stand long poems that literally need deciphering before one can understand them. It had no rhyming or rhythm so one was free to put your one style into it which makes it more fun. I liked the subject of the poem and it was to me a very meaningful and well written poem.

    hope you like it know:)

    ReplyDelete
  164. MY FINAL DRAFT!!
    Poetry Commentary
    The poem is studied is called ‘On the grasshopper and the cricket’ it is written by John Keats. The general explanation of the poem is that it shows us that in summer and winter, the animals are never dead or asleep during that period. Even the smallest of animals like the grasshopper and the cricket.
    In the first stanza the poet is describing the setting in which the first part of the poem takes place, he is describing how dry and brown everything is, and how all the animals are asleep in the midday sun. In the second stanza the poet brings the grasshopper to life and tells us how he jumps from hedge to hedge, full of energy and life, unlike the other animals that are all resting. In the third stanza the poet is describing the setting in the cold of the winter, and then he brings the cricket to life. He explains how everything is silent when the cricket comes out and how only his voice and movement is heard.
    The poet does try give a few hints about the earth and its well being. He tells us in the first line that the poetry of the earth is never dead, he wants us to remember that and think about it, then to explain it better he gives us an example about the grasshopper then in the second part he tells us how the poetry of the earth is ceasing never, and then he gives us an example of that with the cricket, so basically all of the hints are about the earth and how it survives with all the human activity.
    The poem has a rhyme scheme of (aa,bb,cc,d) but it starts with the headings about the earth. The structure is written so that the topic sentence displays what happens in the rest of that section. The way the poet did that was very good. The atmosphere the poet created made it seem like a silent and mysterious place where there are the smallest animals around only.
    This poem reminds me of a book called Island of the Blue dolphins which is based on a similar story. It includes a destination which is almost deserted with life and a small girl and her brother still there alone, they are heard from all over the island because it is silent and at certain times all the animals are asleep.
    Overall I enjoyed reading and studying the poem, it created many imagines in my head, mostly of silent places with little life, but it created a good story. I would say that the poem was successful with the way it was written and the description and hints used in it. Also I think that it was set out to show us how little creatures and animals still make a difference in the world and it created that image in my mind when I read through it :D


    Rosiee.

    ReplyDelete
  165. The flower-fed buffalo.

    The flower-fed buffaloes of the spring
    In the days of long ago,
    Ranged where the locomotives sing
    And the prairie flowers lie low:
    The tossing, blooming, perfumed grass
    Is swept away by wheat,
    Wheels and wheels and wheels spin by
    In the spring that still is sweet.
    But the flower-fed buffaloes of the spring
    Left us long ago,
    They gore no more, they bellow no more:--
    With the Blackfeet lying low,
    With the Pawnee lying low.

    The Flower-Fed Buffalo poem was written by Vachel Lindsay, It seems to show a way of progress as the buffaloes are moving on, and have left where they were and how people come and go. E.g. the Blackfeet and Pawnees where groups of humans who have now ‘died out’ due to the new era of people (signs of progress).

    In The first stanza it says that the buffaloes would come in the spring a long time ago, near the rail way track and the blooming flowers and the growing wheat. The train is passing by. This still remains there but the buffalos are progressing and have moved on since then, showing more progress throughout the poem. In the second stanza the poem says how through evolution and progress the flowers have been replaced by commercial farming of wheat as the trains pass through the fields. In the third stanza we read that the buffaloes and the tribes of the Blackfoot and the Pawnee have moved away in the face of progress.

    By looking deeper into the poem we have a feeling of loss for the old way of life as things progress and move on, the perfume flowered fields have now been ploughed and intensively farmed as man has developed and has a need to produce more food. Similarly with the buffalo they have had to find other places to live as the land becomes cultivated. We also read that the ancient tribes of the Blackfoot and the Pawnee no longer have a home on these fields and have been forced to find other places to live.

    The poem has a rhyme of 1-2-1-2 between each line and each line is short, the poem dosent really has any alliteration in it but it focuses mainly on the past but compares it to the present.

    The poem reminds me a lot of a poem called my inner battle which also shows lots of progression throughout her love life and how she moves on a lot. The poem is very different in terms of subject though. She also talks about the past a lot and compares it to the presence.

    The poem has a very gentle message about change and progress and isn’t bluntly showing its message. It also doesn’t have a negative idea of progression but that things must change and do change over due time. Reading the poem makes me have a very accurate image in my head of the flowers and buffaloes in the field moving on and being replaced by farming and is written very well.

    ReplyDelete
  166. My Poem Commentary - FINAL DRAFT
    ‘Amends’
    by Adrienne Rich

    Nights like this: on the cold apple-bough
    a white star, then another
    exploding out of the bark:
    on the ground, moonlight picking at small stones

    as it picks at greater stones as it rises with the surf
    laying its cheeks for moments on the sand
    as it licks the broken ledge, as it flows up the cliffs,
    as it flicks across the tracks

    as it unavailing pours into gash
    of the sand-and-gravel quarry
    as it leans across the hungered fuselage
    of the crop dusting plane

    as it soaks through cracks into trailers
    tremulous wit sleep
    as it dwells upon the eyelids of sleepers
    as if to make amends.



    The poem Amends, is written by Adrienne Rich who is an American poet and is 80 years old already. This poem is basically about the relationship between the moonlight and the humans. The moonlight wishes to make amends, because it sympathizes with the lives of the sleepers. As night heals up, and also helps the sleepers to get away with bad memories.



    The first stanza is about how at night in the dark it is very cold with stars showing up, lighting up every single piece of ground that is visible to make the night better than day for people. It explains well enough already that the moonlight and humans have a relationship.

    The second stanza is telling us about how the stars light up the greater stones which shows the beauty of the night, it starts showing more and more, and then rests on the sand, as it reaches the broken ledge, it lights up the high cliffs

    The third stanza is about how it continues lighting up the rest of the land. Showing the nights real beauty and also releasing the bad thoughts in peoples minds over the night.

    And at last, the fourth stanza is about how the star light gets through the cracks of windows and how it gets on the eyelids of sleepers as if it wants amends. Making all the bad thoughts and feelings go away in the eyes of the sleepers.

    In general it is telling us that the moonlight wants to make amends since it sympathizes with the lives of sleepers.



    The poem has no rhythm or rhyme. The mood of the poem is very imaginative! There is a lot of alliteration and the tone of this poem is really simple and quite boring to be honest, it doesn’t explain to well to as how the moonlight wants to make amends. The night is truly better than day but it isn’t as good as the thought of what moonlight actually does to us, and it is not explained in this poem. The moonlight shows the beauty of the night, shows us the path to the next day and makes us all people feel like were actually living not just appear.



    The topic of childhood is addressed much more with simple language and makes it much easier to read, not using too much scientific words that break your brain just reading the word and does not use much of the difficult explanation, which makes it harder to understand but uses the short, and informative sentences to make it easier to read and understand.



    My feelings towards the poem are very open; it is beautiful how the night is much more different from the day. And how it is well explained in certain parts of the poem of how the moonlight and human relationship, just because it sympathizes with their lives and how it lights up every single piece that is visible on the ground. I could explain my feelings more towards this poem if only I understood some certain explanations in this poem, to make it all make sense in my mind. However it sounds quite nice and interesting all together. I also think is it a successful poem and that a lot of readers would enjoy reading this poem and have their own opinions, feelings, thoughts and emotions towards this poem and make their own movie in their heads when reading it.

    By Christina Lomakina

    ReplyDelete
  167. So this poem is called “Report to Wordsworth” by Boey Kim Cheng, and here it is:

    You should be here, Nature has need of you.
    She has been laid waste. Smothered by smog,
    the flowers are mute, and the birds are few
    in a sky slowing like a dying clock.
    All hopes of Proteus rising from the sea
    have sunk; he is entombed in the waste
    we dump. Triton’s notes struggle to be free,
    his famous horns are choked, his eyes are dazed,
    and Neptune lies helpless as a beached whale,
    while insatiate man moves in for the kill.
    Poetry and piety have begun to fail,
    as Nature’s mighty heart is lying still.
    O see the wound widening in the sky,
    God is labouring to utter his last cry

    Boey Kim Cheng was born in Singapore year 1965, so he is a recent poet. Worsdowrth on other hand was born in 1770, and he is a famous poet because he wrote about nature.
    So this poem is about environmental problems that happen to exist nowadays.

    In line 1 Boey Kim Cheng says that nature needs Wordsworth, in line 2 it says that the nature is dirty, in line 3 it says that the flowers are not as bright and there are less birds, line 4 says that sky becomes heavy and slow, line 5 says that Proteus who is the sea god from Greek mythology might rise from the sea and help the nature, but then line 6 says that there is no hope for Proteus, line 7 says that Proteus is ill and weak, line 8 says that Neptune who is another god of water and sea but from Roman mythology is also helpless for the nature, and in line 9 says that man moves to kill Neptune while that one is lying helpless, line 10 says that poetry is regressing, line 11 says that even though nature can still change everything she is lying still, line 13 says that there is a wound in the sky but really I think it is dirt or god, and line 14 says that god is going to cry last time, maybe because he can’t handle it and wants to stop everything and destroy it.

    This poem’s meaning is not only environmental problems, but I think it also talks about death, injustice, but still the nature still is the most important here. But I think that this poem is smart in a ways, because it actually says that everything has it’s own end, maybe the poet did not say it directly, but I think that it is the meaning he tried to send across to the readers, and it is a very sad, and realistic meaning unfortunately.

    This poem should be reads in a slow tempo, it does not use rhyming words or rhythm, but it is still really good. The mood is sad and the tone is low and sad as well. Alliteration and assonance is not used. The poem creates first this black atmosphere, but it is was really makes you think how to change the world by helping the nature.

    The other poem which has the same idea is “Lament” by Gillian Clarke:
    For the green turtle with her pulsing burden,
    in search of the breeding-ground.
    For her eggs laid in their nest of sickness.

    For the cormorant in his funeral silk,
    the veil of iridescence on the sand,
    the shadow on the sea.

    For the ocean's lap with its mortal stain.
    For Ahmed at the closed border.
    For the soldier in his uniform of fire.

    For the gunsmith and the armourer,
    the boy fusilier who joined for the company,
    the farmer's sons, in it for the music.

    For the hook-beaked turtles,
    the dugong and the dolphin,
    the whale struck dumb by the missile's thunder.

    For the tern, the gull and the restless wader,
    the long migrations and the slow dying,
    the veiled sun and the stink of anger.

    For the burnt earth and the sun put out,
    the scalded ocean and the blazing well.
    For vengeance, and the ashes of language.
    The poem is similar because it is also about nature dying.

    Even though this poem is more about war, it also mention turtles, and they are part of nature, and I think that even mine poem has war theme, because it is war between human and nature.

    ReplyDelete
  168. I really enjoyed reading this poem, at first you might not understand it, but if you read it more and focus on the words you don’t know, then you will love this poem. It is amazing that someone actually wrote a poetry piece of work based on environmental issues. It makes ignorant people think about nature and maybe do something about it. I recommend it to anyone who has heart.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Final Draft!!!! i didnt decide to change much but I got many comments saying that i should add more in the 6th paragraph so that's what I've done I ne'er was struck before that hour
    With love so sudden and so sweet,
    Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower
    And stole my heart away complete.
    My face turned pale as deadly pale.
    My legs refused to walk away,
    And when she looked, what could I ail?
    My life and all seemed turned to clay.

    And then my blood rushed to my face
    And took my eyesight quite away,
    The trees and bushes round the place
    Seemed midnight at noonday.
    I could not see a single thing,
    Words from my eyes did start --
    They spoke as chords do from the string,
    And blood burnt round my heart.

    Are flowers the winter's choice?
    Is love's bed always snow?
    She seemed to hear my silent voice,
    Not love's appeals to know.
    I never saw so sweet a face
    As that I stood before.
    My heart has left its dwelling-place
    And can return no more
    First Love

    First Love was written by John Clare in the 19th Century. The poem is about the character falling in love for the first time. In the first stanza the character talks about the fact that he cannot take his eyes off this beautiful woman. The second verse conveys the character’s emotions and then describes his emotions from the break up with his lover. In the final stanza Clare talks about his experience and depression as the love is unreciprocated.
    The first stanza has a very romantic theme following the first encounter and the significance in the poem. This is explained in the first line, ‘I ne’er was struck before that hour’ where the character was almost shocked when he first saw this person. There is also a description of the girl’s appearance in line 3. Clare says that ‘her face bloomed like a sweet flower’, he also talks about the character being besotted by this woman. In the second stanza, the character realises that the lady doesn’t have the same feeling for him. We get the impression that the character becomes angry and is filled with rage. This is indicated in the first line ‘and blood rushed to my face’. We also learn that this man is powerless to the fact that this woman could break up with him and he would not be able to prevent this. In the final verse, the character is depressed due to the relationship ending as he cannot make this girl love him. The pace of this stanza is slower than the previous 2 and includes rhetorical questions such as ‘are flowers the winter’s choice?’ and ‘Is love's bed always snow?’
    I believe that Clare is implying that there is such a thing as love at first sight, however, this does not mean that the relationship will last as love is two-way thing. We get the impression that to truly love someone, you need to know them inside and out.
    The rhyming structure of AB AB CD CD. The first stanzas have 8 syllables per line whilst the other 2 follow the pattern of 8 syllables then 6 syllables and so on. The first stanza’s basic themes are romance, feelings and emotions. But in the second, the theme has changed as we see signs of anger due to the fact that this woman might not love him. This is portrayed in the first line of the second verse ‘and blood rushed to my face’. We read in the last line ‘and blood burnt round my heart’ that this person’s heart is broken. The third stanza however is different where the pace is slower due to the theme of depression. There are references of coldness and winter in the first few lines of this verse. The rhetorical questions in this stanza ‘Are flowers the winter’s choice? And ‘Is love's bed always snow?’ also give us the indication that this character is questioning himself about what he needed to do to save the relationship . Though, there is a clear reference to the fact that this character still has feelings for this woman. This is from the fifth line ‘I never saw so sweet a face . We get a clear indication that this person has only seen the girl from the outside because he never mentions her personality.

    ReplyDelete
  170. First Love is almost the complete opposite to Shakespeare’s Sonnet CXXX
    My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
    Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
    If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
    If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
    I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
    But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
    And in some perfumes is there more delight
    Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
    I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
    That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
    I grant I never saw a goddess go;
    My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
    And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
    As any she belied with false compare.

    In this poem, Shakespeare insults his mistress’s beauty. But he doesn’t care as he believes that his love for this woman is rare as he truly loves her on the inside. In First Love, Clare states that the character loves this woman but we only hear him talking about her beauty. Once he realises that this woman doesn’t love him, there are indications of anger, insecurity and depression. In the Sonnet, Shakespeare doesn’t show signs of anger and depression even though he insults his lover, but his ending shows that he loves her despite her looks. The poems also begin and end completely different. The Sonnet starts negatively with Shakespeare insulting his lover and in First Love it begins with the character’s positive love for this woman. The endings are the opposite as well. The Sonnet ends positively with Shakespeare saying that he loves her whilst Clare’s character is very depressed that the woman doesn’t love him in return.
    I believe that First Love is a very well written poem. It has real depth emotionally and readers can easily relate to the experience. I also believe that the poem is successful in what it sets out to do. However, I thought that the poem didn’t end dramatically enough because the poem became more dramatic as it went on, then at the last bit, I would have liked a strong finish. The ending was very good but didn’t feel to me like the right ending for the poem.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Sonnet 43


    How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
    I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
    My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
    For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
    I love thee to the level of everyday's
    Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
    I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
    I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
    I love thee with the passion put to use
    In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
    I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
    With my lost saints!---I love thee with the breath,
    Smiles, tears, of all my life!---and, if God choose,
    I shall but love thee better after death.

    ReplyDelete
  172. The author of Sonnet 43 is Elizabeth Barret Browning. The main theme of the poem is love. Sonnet 43 gets its name, Sonnet 43, as it is one of a set of 44 sonnets. The poet lived from 1806 to 1861. The poem is said to be written with her husband-to-be (at the time) Robert Browning in mind.


    The poem starts; “How do I love thee?” thee possibly referring to Robert Browning her husband-to-be at the time. Later she goes on to “count the ways”. The next line; “I love thee to the depth and breath and height” possibly meaning that's she loves this person on all spheres. In the next verse she says; “For the ends of Being and ideal Grace” Being and Grace start with capital letters possibly to emphasize the point. Ideal of grace could mean that even though something is suppose to be one way doesn't mean its the ideal way. “I love thee to the level everyday's” this could possibly mean that she thinks about him all the time.


    “Most quiet need,by sun and candle light.” possibly meaning that being alone to think and she could be walking in the sun or just sit in a room with a candle. With what I know about the author this means it may mean that their relationship must be kept a secret because of her father who disapproved of the relationship. The next three verses start with I love thee two of the verses compare love with some thing else, such as “I love thee, as men strive for Right;” Right and Praise start with a capital letter possibly to emphasize. The next line “In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.” means that with old experiences and things that she would have believed in when she was a child. Which continued “I loved thee with a love I seemed to lose” Which means she loves this person with a love she seemed to have but lost but has found it with this person. So the previous line makes more sense because it may all mean that all the experiences in life has lead her up to this point. The very next few words are “With my lost saints” this line puzzled me until I managed to find out what it really meant. Elizabeth had lost her mother and her brother so 'saints' is referring to her brother and her mother.


    The next few words; “I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life!” which means that with she loves him with all the experiences that life has got to offer be it good or be t bad. The very last line is; “I shall but love thee better after death.” means that she hopes that they can still be together after death if not better then they were when they were alive.


    The poet's point is that she is so in love with this person that she can't help but think about him all the time. She expresses great emotion. I think Elizabeth Barret Browning tries to make a point that no matter how bad life gets love makes all the bad experiences irrelevant.


    The poem is a fourteen line sonnet. She first starts by counting the ways that she loves this person and then she ends by say that even if life ends, it doesn't mean that love ends. The poem has a rhyme scheme is A,B,B,A,C,D,D,C,E,F,E,G,H,G. It has a very emotional mood. It gives an idea that the poet is so engulfed in what she is saying it seems very fast but them in the end she sort of clams down and says it with a lot of meaning.


    This poem some what reminds me of a Jane Austin novel where one of the girls is saying this sonnet to a close friend or a sister. Sort of like Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility or Emma. It also reminds me of another favourite novel of mine by Louisa May Alcott and one of the sisters going on about love.


    I really enjoyed this sonnet, it has made me very curious about the authors life as the sonnet is about how she loves her husband-to-be (at the time) Robert Browning. I think it is really well written and uses marvellous imagery. Studying this sonnet has really made me interested in reading Elizabeth Barret Browning other sonnets in the set.

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  173. LAMENT

    For the green turtle with her pulsing burden,
    in search of the breeding-ground.
    For her eggs laid in their nest of sickness.

    For the cormorant in his funeral silk,
    the veil of iridescence on the sand,
    the shadow on the sea.

    For the ocean's lap with its mortal stain.
    For Ahmed at the closed border.
    For the soldier in his uniform of fire.

    For the gunsmith and the armourer,
    the boy fusilier who joined for the company,
    the farmer's sons, in it for the music.

    For the hook-beaked turtles,
    the dugong and the dolphin,
    the whale struck dumb by the missile's thunder.

    For the tern, the gull and the restless wader,
    the long migrations and the slow dying,
    the veiled sun and the stink of anger.

    For the burnt earth and the sun put out,
    the scalded ocean and the blazing well.
    For vengeance, and the ashes of language.

    By Gillian Clark

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  174. Evita Otigbah


    Lament Commentary FINAL

    Part 1



    The poem ‘Lament’ by Gillian Clark is about war and it expresses how it affected different creatures and people. The main theme death and sorrow as we get a hint from the title ‘Lament’ meaning a song about grief sorrow and regret about death and war.


    In the first stanza it talks about the turtle how she is burdened to find a breading-ground that is safe and how her eggs are sick and might not survive because of all the pollution from the war and now everything is destroyed. The second stanza is about how the cormorant (a bird) is in his funeral silk and the sad, dark ocean the ocean has been dirtied by all the oil from battle spilled and has caused it to become black. The third stanza is about how us humans have stained the ocean and we have locked out Ahmed (Muslim prophet), with the soldier and his uniform.


    The fourth is about the people that helped and what importance they had in the war the gunsmith the armourer (people who made the weapons), the boy fusilier that joined a company and the sons of the farmer that joined in because of the music. The fifth stanza goes back to the turtles and talks about the dugong dolphin and the whale that is dumbfounded by the sound of missiles which tells us that the war has effected animals terribly. The sixth stanza mentions birds again but this time about a long migration and how the birds are slowly dying this could hold reference to how the world is now polluted and it is causing the birds to die. There also seems to be sense of anger in the air. The last stanza is about how the earth is burnt, the sun gone, the ocean blazing and language in ashes.


    The poem suggests the theme death and sorrow not only from the title but from the stanzas “for her eggs laid in a nest of sickness” which means they might not survive, “the cormorant in his funeral silk” implying he is dead, the talk about the “slowly dying” tern and gull. The poem also seems to have a reference to the effect of war “whale struck dumb by the missiles thunder” or how the gunsmith and the armourer joined in the war or how the farmer’s son went because of the music. How the war had effect on the earth by making it look horrible and how the sun has disappeared “for the burnt earth and the sun put out”. Also the ocean isn’t nice anymore because it says “the scaled ocean” and “ocean’s lap with its mortal stain” meaning we have done something to the ocean and it cannot be undone. There is also vengeance and the place is full of anger “for vengeance, and the ashes of language”, “the veiled sun and the stink of anger”. There also is a sense that Ahmed is forgotten at a closed door “Ahmed at the closed Border”.

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  175. Part 2


    Every stanza starts with “For” which means the poem must be about the creature person thing maybe feeling sorry for it. There is the occasion rhyme at end of the each line but not is a specific order. The poem is full of grief and sorrow. The image that is expressed is the look after war and how everything has been affected “For the burnt earth”.


    I can link this poem to the book called ‘Real World’ by Natsuo Kirino because the book is about different people and how a single death brought them all together because some wanted to help the criminal and one wanted nothing to do with it or how one wanted to action. Murderer thought of himself as a soldier that was running away from the army. And in the end how three people (the murderer, a girl and a taxi driver) meet a horrible death.
    I think the poem was really depressing and really emotionally. I have not read this style of poem before so it is new to me. But over all I think the author managed to convey her feelings across extremely well.


    I haven’t read this style of poem before so it was interesting and new. Over all the feelings that came to me about the poem were sort of depressing (it depressed me).Since it is a poem about war and it's title is 'Lament ' meaning grief and sorrow you could guess that the poem would be depressing. The aim of the poem was to express grief and sorrow and to my opinion it successfully did so.



    sorry I had to split it into two
    ^_^
    it was too long :( (and amazing jjk)

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  176. Full Moon and Little Frieda

    This poem is called Full Moon and Little Frieda by Ted Hughes and is primarily about his daughter Frieda Hughes. He includes metaphors and subtext that refers to the trouble and hardship of his families’ past (notably Sylvia Plath’s Suicide), and his daughter’s beauty. It emphasizes a partnership with nature and the Full moon of the night.

    Stanza one, a short one line stanza, introduces the scene with a brief description “A cool small evening shrunk to a dog bark and the clank of a bucket”, it puts the reader into the setting and gives a sense of calm

    Stanza two instils anticipation and a ‘calm tension’, “A spider’s web, tense for the dew’s touch.” “To tempt a first star to a tremor” These lines show a sort of preparation, something that is part of a cycle is coming soon. Then “A pail lifted, still and brimming – mirror” portrays a calmness as whatever the pail contains is still and reflecting the moonlight.

    Stanza three starts to break the calmness, the tension is still present, but now that “Cows are going home in the lane there, looping the bushes with wreaths of warm breath--” Movement and life is described, and then “A dark river of blood, many boulders” a new element, death and hardness (referring to the boulders).

    All of a sudden in stanza four (another one-liner) “'Moon!' you cry suddenly, 'Moon! Moon!'” an interruption, an isolated chunk of dialogue that finally breaks the tension as Frieda (presumably) herself cries out to the Full moon in the night sky. This is the climax the breaking point, and where we actually find out that she is present in the poem.

    The final Stanza, Stanza five, “The moon has stepped back like an artist gazing amazed at a work that points at him amazed.” is a reaction to the previous stanza’s outburst. The moon is personified and given a higher position, as an artist, a creator. Ironically the Full moon that begins the title of the poem also finished it off.
    This poem is laden with deeper meanings and subtext. One of the main lines that I consider to have subtext is “A dark river of blood, many boulders”. Knowing that the author’s wife (Sylvia Plath) had committed suicide I interpret the boulders as difficulties in the life led by Ted Hughes and the dark red blood as the blood of his wife when she killed herself. Not only could this line be a metaphor, but it could also be reference to an actually river nearby. “, balancing unspilled milk.” I think the milk in this line is taking the place of Frieda, and the person balancing the milk is Ted Hughes. I believe this is Ted Hughes protecting his daughter (balancing the Pail of Milk) from their difficult and shocking past (the river of blood and the boulders.

    When Hughes talks about the moon “The moon has stepped back like an artist gazing amazed at a work that points at him amazed.” I think he is referring to his love for his daughter, and the moon as a creator. As Frieda is pointing at the moon, it notices her and steps back to admire such a wonderful creation of nature. At the time when the poem was written, Frieda would have been about 2 years old and just experimenting with new words, so the moon (already a celestial being, but now a creator as well) could be amazed at the growth of the little girl and how she changes.

    The poem it self is rather short, and is structured to go with the content i.e.) the line “'Moon!' you cry suddenly, 'Moon! Moon!'” Is separate from the bindings of a multiple line stanza, it sits on its own to emphasize the suddenness of the shout. The writing of the poem does not have a rhyme scheme or many types of literary devices such as alliteration and assonance.
    Part 1

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  177. Part 2 Final

    It is like a recount, a memory that has been portrayed using poetic language and metaphors. However the first line sets out a sort of canvas, “A cool small evening shrunk to a dog bark and the clank of a bucket”, after this small areas are described. As a reader you don not know exactly where the poem is told from, only a select few things are actually described such as “Cows are going home in the lane there, looping the bushes with wreaths of warm breath--” and “A pail lifted, still and brimming”

    This poem is very different from other poems I have read. It is much more modern and similar to prose than what I am used to. However, it does remind me of a book that I read several years ago called The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer, about a young boy who was sheltered from he rest of the world. He was a unique boy, who eventually escaped the ‘bubble’ that others had put around him, and went to face to world with all its ugliness and beauty.

    I personally like the poem, a lot. It challenges the reader to delve deep into the words. I don’t know quite what it is the poem was set out to achieve, but if it was Ted Hughes showing his love for his daughter and her innocence then he has definitely conveyed the message. He also demonstrates the wonder of nature, the nature in the dark that most people do not get to see.

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  178. Finally Lets me on the Site >.>
    Here it is;

    Here is the Poem;

    The flower-fed buffaloes of the spring
    In the days of long ago,
    Ranged where the locomotives sing
    And the prairie flowers lie low;
    The tossing, blooming, perfumed grass
    Is swept away by wheat,
    Wheels and wheels and wheels spin by
    In the spring that still is sweet.
    But the flower-fed buffaloes of the spring
    Left us long ago.
    They gore no more, they bellow no more,
    They trundle around the hills no more:
    With the Blackfeet lying low,
    With the Pawnees lying low.
    Lying low.

    By Vachel Lindsay

    Flower-Fed Buffaloes
    Vachel Lindsay
    The poem is called ‘The Flower-Fed Buffaloes’ and it is written by Vachel Lindsay, Vachel Lindsay was 52 when he died in 1931, Vachel was an American Poet and a very good one at that. The subject matter of this poem is focusing on Buffaloes and how they are disappearing from the lovely spring fields. The poem tells us that long ago there were buffaloes that used to roam the fields but as time went on the buffaloes moved from the fields probably because of the two tribes the poem mentions at the end, the Blackfeet and the Pawnees. There seems to be only one theme which is that it’s mainly focusing on spring time.

    In the beginning of the poem it mentions the Buffaloes ‘In the days of long ago’ as well as that it is in the spring time, moving to the third verse it seems to hint that it’s a peaceful time, ‘Ranged where the Locomotives sing’, ‘And the prairie flowers lie low:-‘ these two verses show this as they don’t mention death in an obvious sort of way. ‘The tossing, blooming, perfumed grass’ this is giving us and idea of what it smelt like in the spring time, the next couple of verses tells us that there is some disturbance in the fields as ‘wheels and wheels and wheels spin by’ but it also says that the spring still smells sweet and peaceful. ‘But the Flower-Fed Buffaloes of the spring, Left us long ago’ this seems like the buffaloes are moving to another place due to either Migration, someone or something has drove them away, in the end of the poem it mentions the two tribes ‘the Blackfeet lying low, and the Pawnees lying low’ it mentions ‘Lying low’ so this could mean that they might have used the Buffaloes for a source of food or clothing and since they have moved on the tribes are unsure on what they should do and are thinking it through.

    In the poem there are some versus and words that imply certain things, ‘Prairie flowers lie low;-‘ this could imply that the flowers are indeed lying low, either they are small flowers or they could have been trodden on by either the buffaloes or the two tribes, the flowers could also have been eaten by the buffaloes. ‘Swept away by the wheat’ could mean that the flowers and the grass has been removed and wheat has been grown instead, ‘They gore no more, they bellow no more, They trundle around the hills no more’ this hints that the Buffaloes don’t kill humans or animals anymore, they don’t growl or make noises, and it looks like they don’t go wandering around any place anymore and that hints that they have moved to another place. ‘Lying low’ could mean that the two tribes are staying quiet and not doing much activity because of the Buffaloes moving on. “Wheels and wheels and wheels spin by” this line mentions ‘wheels’ so it could either mean that since it is in the country, the wheels could be that of a trains, and that the train is passing by.

    Part 1

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  179. Part 2

    The structure of the poem is a 15 verse poem, it does not have any stanzas, and there only seems to be a short rhyming pattern at the beginning which is ABAB and it does not have a set number of syllables, the rhythm of the poem in my opinion is slow, and this works for the poem as if you said it fast the poem wouldn’t sound as good. The poem gives the reader a lot of images, such as ‘And the prairie flowers lie low, They gore no more, they bellow no more, They trundle around the hills no more’ There is no Assonance or Alliterations, the mood of the poem is happy and the atmosphere created makes you peaceful and gives you good images of Spring time.

    One poem that I can relate this Poem to is “On the Grasshopper and the Cricket” I have actually read this poem and it relates to this one because of how they both describe Nature, and their themes are similar as they both show signs of Spring. I can also relate a series of stories to this poem, Terry Pratchet writes novels that have similar ideas and images to this poem, but that is my opinion.

    My feelings, I quite enjoyed this poem as it wasn’t too violent, wasn’t too romantic or too sad. The thing that I like about this poem is the fact that it mentions Buffaloes, they are quite fascinating and I generally like animals, I also like how this poem is written, I feel as if it doesn’t sadden your mood or turn it really happy, it makes your mood neutral if that makes any sense, this poem also makes me feel calm and peaceful as I’ve most probably mentioned before, and that is what makes this poem fun to read or enjoy. Overall I would read this poem over and over again and still feel like what I said is true.

    Endeh ! ;>

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  180. Time
    ALLEN CURNOW

    I am the nor’west air nosing among the pines
    I am the water-race and the rust on railway lines
    I am the mileage recorded on the yellow signs.

    I am dust, I am distance, I am lupins back of the beach
    I am the sums the sole-charge teachers teach
    I am cows called to milking and the magpie’s screech.

    I am nine o’clock in the morning when the office is clean
    I am he slap of the belting and the smell of the machine
    I am the place in the park where the lovers were seen.

    I am recurrent music the children hear
    I am level noises in the remembering ear
    I am the sawmill and the passionate second gear.

    I, Time, am all these, yet these exist
    Among my mountainous fabrics like a mist
    So do they the measurable world resist.

    I, Time, call down, condense, confer
    On the willing memory the shapes these were:
    I, more than your conscious carrier

    Am island, am sea, am father, farm, and friend,
    Though I am here all things my coming attend;
    I am, you have heard it, the Beginning and the End.

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  181. Final Draft: Poetry Commentary
    By Caroline Schiller
    Part 1

    The poem “Time” is written by Allen Curnow. He died in 2001 and was one of the most popular poets in New Zealand. This poem is about time which he describes as everything that happens in the world. The author writes about many occurrences in different places. He describes time being these instants. Time, in his eyes, is the nature, animals, smells, noises, touchable and not-touchable things, moments, etc.; so time is everything that exists now.

    The first four stanzas might be regarded initially as containing random memories and occurrences. Time is speaking of itself, saying it is the air, a water-race and a mileage in the first stanza. The second stanza tells us that time is the dust, the distance, the sums and the cows. Then, in the third stanza, time says it is nine o’clock in the morning, a slap of the belting, the smell of machines and a place. The fourth stanza starts, like the stanzas before, with ‘I am…’ and this time, time is a music, a noise and a sawmill.
    But the fifth stanza starts with ‘I, Time,…’ and this time, it says it is everything that exists. The sixth stanza starts, like the fifth, with ‘I, Time,…’ and it tells us that time calls down, condenses and confers. In the last paragraph, time is described as island, sea, father, farm and friend. The author writes that time is ‘the Beginning and the End’, which is derived from the Bible. It is also similar to the words ‘In my end is my beginning’ of East Coker.

    The author tells us that time is everything that exists. The fifth stanza has a metaphor ‘I, Time, am… among my mountainous fabrics like a mist’. This comparison makes a picture in your head with time as mist. Mist is a good way to describe time, because both are untouchable for humans and they seem to be mysterious. And time is mysterious in a way because it can not be controlled by humans. The following sentence ‘So do they the measurable world resist’ could affirm this, because the world is described as measurable. This could be interpreted as controlled. And ‘they (time and mist)… resist’ could mean that time and mist are not controlled by humans. ‘Conscious carrier’ is also a phrase that you can not know what exactly is meant with it. I would interpret it as some kind of accompanist that humans always have with them where ever they are.

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  182. Final Draft: Poetry Commentary
    By Caroline Schiller :)
    Part 2

    The lines of the first four stanzas all start with ‘I am...’. Then, in the fifth and sixth stanza, the author changes his writing style a bit. He starts with “I, Time, …” This change of writing makes you more interested in the last few paragraphs so that you’re more likely to think about them. ‘Time’, ‘Beginning’ and ‘End’ are the only words that start with a big letter. This is probably so because Time is the topic of the poem and ‘the Beginning and the End’ is derived from the Bible. The poem is in rhyming triplets, so all three lines of a stanza rhyme which is very unusual
    (lines, pines, signs; beach, teach, screech).
    As the author describes time as the air or a cow, you can easily imagine these things. Many pictures flood through your head while you read this poem because of all these different places and things. This creates a dreamful atmosphere which makes you imagine to fly from one place to another while reading through the stanzas. This imaginary atmosphere gets a bit mysterious when the mist is compared to time and when these two are described as resisting the measurable world.

    “Time” is something untouchable. Untouchable things are also “Love”, “Trust”, “Friendship” etc. and they are often topics of poems. Untouchable things are hard to describe, they have no definite color or shape, you can not draw them and hardly imagine them as pictures. Maybe that’s the reason why many poets try to describe these things with their own words, using many comparisons so that we can imagine untouchable things as things that we know which have shape and color. So after ‘Time’ has been described for example as mist, you can imagine time as something cold and gray, hanging in the air. This makes it easier for us to imagine these things.
    The poem has some similarities with the poem “Full Moon and Little Frieda” written by Ted Hughes. The two poems have many strong memories in them and they have similar descriptions of nature. They are also metaphysically similar.

    I think this poem is really good. While I was reading it, I imagined that the time has been stopped and I was traveling from one place/ thing/ object to another. Because of all these comparisons, the poem is very figurative. The last paragraphs are written differently and there are many sentences you have to think about very hard before you fully understand their meaning. I especially liked the last paragraph, and the last line ‘I am, you have heard it, the Beginning and the End’. It gives you the feeling that the poem is finished and completed.

    THE END xD

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  183. The Voice
    Thomas Hardy

    Woman much missed, how you call to me, call to me,
    Saying that now you are not as you were
    When you had changed from the one who was all to me,
    But as at first, when our day was fair.

    Can it be you that I hear? Let me view you, then,
    Standing as when I drew near to the town
    Where you would wait for me: yes, as I knew you then,
    Even to the original air-blue gown!

    Or is it only the breeze in its listlessness
    Travelling across the wet mead to me here,
    You being ever dissolved to wan wistlessness,
    Heard no more again far or near?

    Thus I; faltering forward,
    Leaves around me falling,
    Wind oozing thin through the thorn from norward,
    And the woman calling.


    Poet Thomas Hardy really loved the woman mentioned in the poem. He had experienced a rough relationship with the particular woman, whom, nevertheless, he can not forget it for the rest of his life. He expressed his love to his wife very effectively in the poem through the effective way of language techniques, such as repetition, personification and sound devices, which combine to vividly present an image of the poet as a grief-stricken man.

    The opening sentence of the poem indicates a clear sense of love that the poet feels for the woman. “Woman much missed, how you call to me, call to me”. Addressing the readers how strong his love was to the woman. The repetition tells us that the poet imagines hearing the voice of the woman he loved. The dominance use of “m” sound shows the poet is enjoying what he is experiencing, while at the same time indicating uncertainty. The next line shows the poet’s mind as what he wishes to hear “ Saying that now you are not as you were”, indicating the mixed feelings he had for the woman. In this way the poet tells us he did not have a happy life. The poet effectively shows us how the relationship of him and the woman had been changing, from pure love to marriage, when the woman changed in a bad way, until when the woman died. The pure love from the poet to the woman , however, stays on more strongly.

    The previous sense of uncertainty is confirmed, In stanza two, as the poet questions, “Can it be you that I hear?” The poet can not answer, no one can answer. The command that follows, “let me view you then.” reminds the poet of the location and time where they met in the past, reinforcing their love. He remembers his wife wearing her “air blue gown”, both indicates a sense of emptiness and sadness, and creating a spooky mood.

    Stanza three is a big rhetorical question. “or is it only the breeze, in its listlessness”. The first line is a personification of the breeze as being low in spirit. Indicating the poet is feeling sad and again reinforcing how important his wife is to him. The mentioning of the woman “Travelling across the wet mead to me here” intensifies the spooky mood while strengthening a cold feeling associated with death. The poet describes the woman as being dissolved, meaning the woman is ungraspable, reinforcing the idea that his wife is dead. There is no hope of her being alive again. The poet still loves her so much even though she is already dead, expressed his strong love.

    Stanza four concludes the poet’s feeling. The poet describes himself as faltering, showing a sense of doubt, as he wonders if he should go or stop. The description of “leaf falling”, which indicates death, combines with wind oozing thin from norward from the thorns to reinforces discomfort and pain. The poet shivers, feeling discomfort, and him struggle with sadness. The poet ends the poem with “and the woman calling”, indicating that he still hears his wife calling him. That brings us back to the beginning, showing the endless cycle in the feeling of love that he still feels for his deceased wife.

    To conclude, “The Voice” best expresses the poet’s strong feeling of love for his wife despite for a horrified relationship he had with her in the past. Feelings of sadness, loneliness and uncertainty combine to create a spooky mood that keeps haunting both the poet and us the reader.

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  186. DOVER BEACH (Matthew Arnold)

    POEM :

    The sea is calm tonight,
    The tide is full, the moon lies fair
    Upon the straits; on the French coast the light
    Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand,
    Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.
    Come to the window, sweet is the night air!
    Only, from the long line of spray
    Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,
    Listen! you hear the grating roar
    Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,
    At their return, up the high strand,
    Begin, and cease, and then again begin,
    With tremulous cadence slow, and bring
    The eternal note of sadness in.

    Sophocles long ago
    Heard it on the Agean, and it brought
    Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow
    Of human misery; we
    Find also in the sound a thought,
    Hearing it by this distant northern sea.

    The Sea of Faith
    Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
    Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
    But now I only hear
    Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
    Retreating, to the breath
    Of the night wind, down the vast edges drear
    And naked shingles of the world.

    Ah, love, let us be true
    To one another! for the world, which seems
    To lie before us like a land of dreams,
    So various, so beautiful, so new,
    Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
    Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
    And we are here as on a darkling plain
    Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
    Where ignorant armies clash by night.




    ANALYSIS:(PART 1)

    In the poem “ Dover Beach”, Arnold evoques a loss of faith in the world. The word Faith starts by a capital “F” just as God. This interesting littery technique shows us just how important its role is in the poem. This dramatic monologue reflects on religion, the faith of people in God and religion is lost. Matthew Arnold, a deeply religious man, laments the dying of the “light of faith” which is symbolized by the light he sees on the French coast that gleams once and then dies.



    Matthew Arnold wrote this poem after a visit he made to the region of Dover in England, which is the setting of “Dover Beach”, in 1851. At that time, the church had lost a lot of influence because of new scientific discoveries such as evolution that question the methods and beliefs of the church. The first two stanzas were actually already written in his notes for another work in progress. The town of Dover is very close to France as he sees the light on the French border. In this poem we have first, second and also third person point of view. The most common point of view used is the third person when he demonstrates his observations and point of view but Arnold uses a second person point of view when he adresses his beloved wife, “come to the window…”, “listen!”. The author then shifts to first person when he includes the reader along with himself : “of human misery; we”.


    “Dover Beach” consists of four stanzas that each contain a very uneven number of verses. This disorder shows us the religion-less aspect of life, men are lost without their faith. There is no particular rhyming scheme either in this poem which also reflects the chaos in men’s lives because of the absence of religion. There is a rather good handling of iambic pentameter in this particular poem which is well shown in the last stanza

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  187. PART 2

    The main idea portrayed by Arnold is that the current state of the world is chaotic and that if we want a better future we must take action. The sea of faith is moving backwards but we must not lose hope and we have to struggle forward. This entire poem is a symbol of Arnold’s pessimistic feeling about the world and its people. The idea of conflicts between humans is shown with the contrasts between the sea and the beaches, “Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land, Listen! you hear the grating roar”. The mood of the poem is very calm at the beginning and suddenly it changes with, “grating roar of peddles which the waves draws back, and fling”.


    In this elegic poem we have a mournful tone that comes up throughout the stanzas. The constant presence of sadness and misery determines the particular tone of the poem.


    Many different images appear. The sea is used as an image and a metaphore throughout the text. At the beginning, it is beautiful to watch under the moonlight, “ the sea is calm to-night…”. Later on, in the same stanza, the sea makes a “groating roar” and has a “tremulous cadence”. The metaphore version of the sea is seen in the third stanza as the “Sea of Faith” which symbolises a time when religion wasn’t challenged by Darwinism. The sea of faith (religion) withdraws back to leave chaos behind. Exclamations are used all over the poem to create different effects depending to where in the text such as a beautiful seaside scenery in the first stanza. In stanza 3, “The Sea of Faith was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore” shows that religion used to exist all over the world and used to have a lot of power and influence. The simile “lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled” is very interesting. A girdle is a belt, religion is compared to a belt, it is very useful in life and you can carry it everywhere. Religion unifies the whole world just like a girdle.“The turbid ebb and flow of human misery” is reffering to the fact that we are the ones held responsible for our own misery. This defines the “ancestral sin”.The repetition of “neither” and “nor” in the last stanza, “neither joy, nor love, nor light, nor certitude…” emphasises on these numerous denials. These are normal human values. A very obvious question appears at that point, what is now remaining ? Matthew Arnold portreys a very bleak and dark view of the world he lives in. “And we are here as on a darkling plain” shows us that the people don’t know how they got there, religion is no longer there to guide them and so they are “swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight”.


    This author uses a lot of interesting vocabulary to increase the general sad feeling of the poem. These are a few examples : “tremulous cadence”, eternal note of sadness”.


    Matthew Arnold is watching the light that represents religion dying slowly. This poem show that he sees all the pessimism in the world the human conflicts. The dying image of the light defines the main message “Dover Beach”: the current state of the world is chaotic and if we want a better future we must take action, we must take action now.

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  188. Hi, I was having a look at the mini-essays and I was just wondering if you have to right all poems in that order, don't mean too butt in but our teacher taught us that we needn't bother with "when" it was written. We have to start off with a general introduction commenting on what the poem is about and what techniques she/he uses. THe following paragraphs should target different themes conveyed and how he/she goes on about it, essentially mixing all the paragraphs in order to aid you in the analysis of the different themes. Thanks, doing GCSE's at the moment.

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  189. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  190. Thankyou guys so much.
    Your writting is awesome.
    Though someone could write a bit more about that Frieda poem.

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